Moved to its own discussion.
but does anyone find that going out and exercising just exhausts you and ruins the next few days?
No... I find myself feeling better after exercise every time I do it.
My family keeps trying to tell me that losing weight will make me feel better about myself, and then all my problems will be solved.....which frustrates me to no end, because even though I have gained 40kg, I ultimately don't really mind it any more
Whilst I agree losing weight will not solve all the PTSD aspects, gaining 40kg is excessive and likely puts you into obese, which is a major health issue for depression and physical health.
Whilst I respect you "were" a gym junkie, that means nothing now. That is the past, it doesn't give you the right to use it to excuse piss poor behaviour in your present, regardless how good or bad a past event is. I was extremely fit in the past when in the military, then I gained 20kg beyond my fittest weight due to depression. I fought the same battles in my mind that you are now, and I was also ok with my weight, however; I also found when I lost most of it and got back to a healthy weight, I actually do feel a lot better about myself and my depression is much easier to keep in check from regular exercise due to the known factors of exercise creating endorphins, part of which is serotonin naturally, thus keeping depression minimised.
My dad is such a twat, I spent a weekend with my mum sewing, and so my dad turns around to me in front of her and my 17yo sister, and asks me when I've had enough of rorting the system, and when I'm going to get over it.
Agree... most people who don't understand it don't know how to deal with it. Saying that, some people also do make excuses for themselves without real effort. They say one thing, but when it comes to doing, they give-up because its all too hard.
A current affairs program did a recurring section on a group that lived in what is named "Dole Street" because nearly everyone in it is on disability / unemployment and is low income. They interviewed a group and they all claimed they wanted to work but there was no work out there. So, the TV offered to take the group out and help them get jobs, there and then on the spot, to give them a shot at having a job and earning more money. Well, they lost half the group the moment the talk became real... the actual prospect that they had to work for money and not just get it in their bank for doing nothing. It overwhelmed half of them to immediately dropout.
Then of the half that got dressed up, presented themselves and all got jobs, about 7 or 8 in total, half had quit after day one. After a week, two had jobs. The biggest mouth of them all who was trying to be the leader of the pack, he put himself on workers compensation due to a supposed injury on the job for a couple of months after only a couple of weeks working. Basically, it paid him more than the unemployment benefits. The TV show returned and not one of them are working still, even though employers are already lined up to give them a job and get them off unemployment.
Talking is one thing, doing and sticking with it is completely different. Don't convince yourself with talk to reside yourself to anything less than what you can achieve, or want to achieve. Either way though, to some point your father has validity in his point, though also ignorance as well based on health circumstances.
At the end of the day, the worst of the worst of the PTSD spectrum doesn't prevent a person from recovering to atleast find some type of work / activity in their life to help them continue recovery. Even if it is non-profit whilst on disability, you are creating a healthy mental state for yourself to help you continue to recover.
Not everyone will work again from PTSD, that is a given. The majority though can, and do fully recover and return to an active employment and social environment. Around 6 - 7% of PTSD sufferers will have lifetime PTSD. Of that small percentage of all with PTSD, a majority will be functional to work part-time or return to full-time employment.
Whilst you father is being an arse right now, it doesn't make his point completely invalid either. If we won't push ourselves to heal and get back into life, then that leaves the burden to those around us to push at us to get motivated. Motivated could be, losing 30kg of your 40kg gained as a starting point. Then some type of education to get into a field that you can manage within with PTSD. Then it may mean starting of in something a few hours a week, then a day, then a couple of days a week and finding what you can cope with mentally and achieve it.
And then I go and see my psych, and he tries to push me to go out for a brisk walk several times a day....I'm so exhausted from my nightmares and shitty sleep that I can barely clean up after myself in the kitchen.
Again, your psych agree's with your father to some degree, as do I. Sure, I could enable you and tell you want you want to hear and agree with you, or I could tell you what you need to hear, which is also what those directly in your life are telling you, and I am merely confirming again.
Healing is a choice... and unfortunately nobody, and I do mean nobody, can fix you except for you. If you've given up on yourself, then that is your choice and decision. If your choice is to truly heal, then you have to start somewhere and get motivated. I lost most of my weight and am back to a healthy weight nowadays for my height and build. At my absolute fittest, with muscles rippling out of me everywhere, I was one pants size smaller than I am now and around 86 - 88kg. I now sit around the 95kg range without anywhere near that level of exercise, instead I just walk around 30 - 40km per week which keeps me healthy, trim enough and the most important aspect, my depressive moods stay in check for the most part and I can manage them with ease. Nobody could do that for me, I had to do it... just like you have to make your choices.
Fight against advice and justify whatever negativity you want to yourself, or take action, heal, get healthier, get back into the workforce in the future... have goals and aim to achieve them.
Healing PTSD and succeeding can range from months to years, depending on severity. But goals are how you get there, not by making excuses.
