About me. Well until recently I didn't realize that I had PTSD, I always figured it was something that only war veterans had and that was that. Someone close to me that had suffered through sexual assault as a child told me that they have PTSD and I was shocked. I did some research on my own and realized that the symptoms that I've been experiencing since I was 12 years old scream out PTSD.
My older sister was gang raped when I was 11 years old, my mother was unstable for most of my life. After my sister was assaulted my mother had a break down, and she hasn't been the same since. My parents were split up at the time so I was left alone to watch my sister and my mother fall apart. My dad moved back with us about a year after, at that point my mother was showing symptoms of psychosis and thought that we were trying to "drive her crazy". My father, not knowing what was going on, believed her, which started a battle between myself and my parents, with me defending my sister for the majority of it.
I developed agoraphobia, depression, flash backs (I would hear my parents yelling when no one was home), gastrointestinal problems (which resulted in me going for every test in the book, they couldn't find anything), anxiety, drug dependency (prescription Valium for my anxiety), difficulty maintaining relationships and attendance issues with school, as well as this crippling feeling that I'll never be able to have a normal life or accomplish the things I want. Well... that's me in a nut shell right now.
I've dealt with a lot of the symptoms, like agoraphobia and anxiety, I can keep myself calm now. I stopped taking the prescription medication years ago. I get through my depressive episodes fairly well now. My main issues now are I keep pushing away friends that I make, and the relationships I have kept, I always feel this sense of disappointment. Also, I keep screwing up with school, every time I enrol I take on too much and end up dropping out and getting depressed.
I'm just looking for suggestions here on healing and to connect with someone who may have been through something somewhat similar to me.
My older sister was gang raped when I was 11 years old, my mother was unstable for most of my life. After my sister was assaulted my mother had a break down, and she hasn't been the same since. My parents were split up at the time so I was left alone to watch my sister and my mother fall apart. My dad moved back with us about a year after, at that point my mother was showing symptoms of psychosis and thought that we were trying to "drive her crazy". My father, not knowing what was going on, believed her, which started a battle between myself and my parents, with me defending my sister for the majority of it.
I developed agoraphobia, depression, flash backs (I would hear my parents yelling when no one was home), gastrointestinal problems (which resulted in me going for every test in the book, they couldn't find anything), anxiety, drug dependency (prescription Valium for my anxiety), difficulty maintaining relationships and attendance issues with school, as well as this crippling feeling that I'll never be able to have a normal life or accomplish the things I want. Well... that's me in a nut shell right now.
I've dealt with a lot of the symptoms, like agoraphobia and anxiety, I can keep myself calm now. I stopped taking the prescription medication years ago. I get through my depressive episodes fairly well now. My main issues now are I keep pushing away friends that I make, and the relationships I have kept, I always feel this sense of disappointment. Also, I keep screwing up with school, every time I enrol I take on too much and end up dropping out and getting depressed.
I'm just looking for suggestions here on healing and to connect with someone who may have been through something somewhat similar to me.
