Hi. I’m not exactly sure why this site is so appealing to me. My family is definitely crazy, several different flavors, and I lose sight of that a lot. There was definitely some covert incest – my sisters sometimes jealously joke that I have always been my mother’s little man. When I was little I remember my mother walking around the house naked, and I was terribly embarrassed. I tried family therapy with my parents once – their goal was to “fix” me, through having me put on meds – and after the first session I asked the T, who was very experienced, if my mother was borderline, and she said “yes.” Now, that’s not a formal diagnosis, but it correlated with my own research, and I was on a site for the loved ones or family members of borderlines for awhile. I am fairly disassociated, and I had my first inkling of a memory of a “feeling” from being a child just last week. It wasn’t a concrete image, but instead it was like a waking dream. I saw a child shape (I say “shape” because it was dreamy, I couldn’t make out details) moving down the hallway which was populated with kudzu-sized black spiderwebs. It was a dark dream and the feelings were negative, but, as a first recollection, it is understandably a little vague.
My mother may be PTSD too; I haven’t researched how that differs and overlaps with borderline. She was in a war as a teenager, and basically lived the life of a spy for four years. My siblings are all pretty medium-functioning, and my nieces and nephews are all pretty debilitated – aspergers, and migraines. My own marriage did not work so well as a couple, but my wife has great maternal instincts and we are managing, though separated, to raise some creative, great children.
I have a T, work in the inner city, and reading the posts here feels right. I guess I’ll just keep reading.
My mother may be PTSD too; I haven’t researched how that differs and overlaps with borderline. She was in a war as a teenager, and basically lived the life of a spy for four years. My siblings are all pretty medium-functioning, and my nieces and nephews are all pretty debilitated – aspergers, and migraines. My own marriage did not work so well as a couple, but my wife has great maternal instincts and we are managing, though separated, to raise some creative, great children.
I have a T, work in the inner city, and reading the posts here feels right. I guess I’ll just keep reading.
