This might sound weird but I have found it helpful to view anger like this as an "anger attack" and to handle it much like I would a panic attack. I don't label it this way to take away the importance of the anger, or my responsibility to manage it, but to help me identify it to myself and follow an "anger attack" plan, much like how I have a panic attack plan. I used to carry around a flash card with things to do when I felt panic or anger... it was a little cheesy, but it helped. My brain shuts down when I'm super pissed and that card reminded me of what I needed to remember and do in that moment.
PTSD is basically the flight or flight (or freeze or fawn) responses getting stuck, as if the trauma of the past is happening now. Think about it.Throwing things and screaming make perfect sense if you are fighting for your very life.
Anger is an important emotion. It is often a sign that something ot someone has crossed our boundaries or threatened what we value. With PTSD, it can feel like the threat is in he current moment when really it is our body/brain trying to protect us from the past as if it is happening now.
When someone is experiencing out of control angry outbursts without the threat of imminent life and death trauma, it is important to try ro regulate the anger down a lower level before taking action on whatever is triggering the anger. This allows the executive functioning part of the brain (not just the survival/limbus system) to come more on line and help you take more effective action or ride the wave of the emotion out a lot easier.
Look up "DBT distress tolerance skills" and "grounding skills" on Google. When I start to feel anger taking me over, many of these things have helped me. They may not specifically state these skills will help with anger, but they often do.
If there is anything that helps you with anxiety or panic, that might be good to try too. Sometimes wrapping up in a tight blanket will help reduce the intensity of anger in feeling because it's getting at the core issue that I feel threatened and in danger. Even if I intellectually know I not in danger and I'm angry over something stupid and small, I still treat it like my body believes I'm in danger and I need to connect to feeling safer.
One of my favorites is to hold ice. Yep, holding ice. It zaps me back into the here and present and oddly can calm down anger or panic for me. It also helps to mindfully notice everything around me. Its all about connecting to this moment now.
It may sound weird but as a survivor of childhood trauma, internal family systems techniques help too - I will actually write down things I would say to an angry child, only I write them to myself. I don't have DID per se, but it still works really well.
If I am so angry I need to do something physical, running around the block or tearing up paper helps. (I have a pile of old phone books just for this.) I do a lot to try and really connect with the here and now and ground when my anger is super intense because doing that gets my body into this present moment which is usually mostly safe even if it is pissing me off. Connecting to this moment now - safe or good things in this moment now - helps the intensity decrease.
None of the tools will work instantly, but all of them help and have a stronger effect with practice. I still "practice" these kinds of skills randomly throughout the day when I'm not angry or scared because they work so much better when I need them, and they generally improve my day anyhow. It's a pain to do, but it's worth it.
My goal is not to ignore the anger but to decrease the sensation of it from an intense 8-10 (on a scale of 1-10) back down to a 4-6 range and then take action, if needed, about what is getting to me. Sometimes I need to set stronger boundaries and sometimes I need to offer myself and others compassion. It depends.
Angry outbursts is a horrible experience in and of itself. I have struggled with it for some time, but it has gotten better. I hope you find what will help you :hug:
Edited to add:
P.s. Check out the stress cup model too to help understand why this is happening and what to do about it:
https://www.myptsd.com/threads/the-ptsd-cup-explanation.13737/
