Families Living And Coping With Ptsd.

[Deleted member 10645]

My name is Steve Sparks, son of a decorated WWII veteran, Vernon H. Sparks, BMC US Navy (1918-1998). My Dad survived the surprise Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, December 7, 1941 while serving on the USS West Virginia. He went on to serve on the USS Belle Grove in the Asiatic Pacific Theater. Dad was diagnosed with severe "battle fatigue" (now PTSD) shortly after the end of WWII following 66 months of combat duty, including before the beginning of WWII, ending June 1945. He was sent away to a treatment center at a US Naval Hospital for 6 weeks. Dad served in the Korean War as well, which did not help his condition in the least bit. PTSD and treatment at that time was not well understood nor available, including the right medications. Alcohol was the chosen medication of the time, and clearly did not help matters. This issue is a legacy of war, and we must do all we can to break the pattern of abuse that often happens in families living with untreated PTSD victims who survived terrible experiences in combat.

I started writing a book, Reconciliation, A Son's Story, to learn more about how families are affected with PTSD environment transfer from combat veterans returning home from the war a different person. I wanted to separate my Dad's abusive and sometimes brutal behavior from his person, and to help our family heal. Now that my book has a life of its own and has significantly changed my life and has helped my family heal, it is time to share my work with others, especially those who suffer from the symptoms of "intergenerational" PTSD. I was even able to develop a "Path to Self Discovery" model that takes a person through the process of healing and recovery, which has been reviewed and endorsed by a mental health professional who has been helping me with my book.

With this introduction, please check out my blog by doing a search of "Steve Sparks, Depoe Bay, Oregon, livingwithPTSD". I am available to speak about this subject and my family experience in appropriate forums. My book should be published sometime during the next few months, before the end of 2011.

Sincerely,

Steve Sparks
Depoe Bay, Oregon

 

[Deleted member 10645]

Mitigating self-destructive behavior

In my own personal research, this is where we survivors of PTSD have a high risk of crossing the line the most with family members and in professional life. The attitude of “I don’t deserve to be happy or successful” is a fallacy. The tendency to punish self grows out of early childhood abuse because children tend to blame themselves when things go wrong at home. Consequently, later in life following a successful experience at work or on the personal level, we can often punish ourselves again and again. We don’t seem to have the capacity to forgive ourselves even if intellectually it is clear that whatever happened during early life at home was not your fault.

I'm interested in learning more about others who have experienced these kinds of feelings that can be attributed to PTSD.

 

[Jimmy1]

Mitigating self-destructive behavior

In my own personal research, this is where we survivors of PTSD have a high risk of crossing the line the most with family members and in professional life. The attitude of “I don’t deserve to be happy or successful” is a fallacy. The tendency to punish self grows out of early childhood abuse because children tend to blame themselves when things go wrong at home. Consequently, later in life following a successful experience at work or on the personal level, we can often punish ourselves again and again. We don’t seem to have the capacity to forgive ourselves even if intellectually it is clear that whatever happened during early life at home was not your fault.

I'm interested in learning more about others who have experienced these kinds of feelings that can be attributed to PTSD.

Steve,

What is your meaning here??? Are you say we have a misconception about our happiness due to childhood abuse???
I was not abused as a child. I have PTSD from military service.

Do you have PTSD yourself and are you a veteran. If the answer is NO, then you do not belong on this forum.

 

[Deleted member 10645]

I have been suffering from the symptoms of PTSD for most of my life as a result of what we know now as "intergenerational PTSD," I was diagnosed in the Navy in 1965 with these symptoms, but it was not called PTSD at the time. My PTSD stems from growing up in a toxic home with a WWII combat veteran who suffered severely from "battle fatigue" now called PTSD. PTSD has more recently become a legacy of war that includes spouses and children who can acquire the same PTSD symptoms as a result of living with a combat veteran suffering from the same. I hope this answer is considered a "yes" since my work looking into this could have enormous value to family members of combat veterans, including combat veterans themselves who have a desire to learn more about the subject. If this is still not clear please ask another question. I am more than happy to explore the subject of "intergenerational PTSD" in some depth with you or anyone else participating on this forum. My research as a lay person has been extensive but I am not a mental health professional. I have worked with a mental health professional on my research, however, and she provides treatment to combat veterans as well as their families and loved ones who support our veterans when they return home following combat duty.

 

[willis williams]

My father served in Nam 68, 69, and the beginning of 70. Yep he had PTSD and was tough at home but every ass whipping I got I had coming. Yes he drank like a fish for years but he also served 28 years in the army. I plaid sports , partied did all the normal kid shit. But I got my PTSD from fighting men, women, and children all on my own. To me it is like when people say I drink to much cause my mom and dad did. Everyone has a choice just watch the movie the blind side. Or take my cousin whos dad drinks a case or more a day since he was a teenager my cousin don't drink. I think what you are going after is aswers that are not readily available. As humans we are always looking for justification why its the way it is. Sometimes its good to step back and just say it is. It is very easy to blame our short comings on our childhood instead of looking at ones self and not making excuses. Oh and my dads fathers during ww2 was in the army and the army air corp in Pearle harbor in ww2. My dad ran trac and set records in high school work while in school was a somewhat normal kid until 68 when he volunteered for Nam and my grandfather was tuff and drank. I believe it is the inner workings of an individual person and if they choose to follow that path or example then the person has a weaker constitution than other no offense but I don't follow my dad nor do I do the things he did. I drink but managed now and that would be the closest thing to the things he did. Everybody has a choice of many paths but it is still a choice. Just look at the slaves who were beaten and raped when they were freed some went on to do great things.

 

[Zipperhead]

To say that my son stands a chance of aquiring PTSD just because I have been diagnosed is a pretty dismal forecast. Even if the existance of "Intergenerational PTSD" was to be confirmed, I would have to say that the trend would have to be caused more by abuses at home during childhood than to dealing with a gruff and unemotional father. If your dad was abusive, and had PTSD, and now you have PTSD as a result, that is because he was abusive. Go on other forums, there are people out there with PTSD because they were abused as children. But do not asume that just because I have PTSD, I am abusive. My son is my life. I love him, and would die to protect him. Assertions like yours just give ammo to the child welfare fanatics that want to remove children from homes just because they think they are superior. The liberal crowd that think soldiers are barbarians, and can't be trusted with the welfare of children. Maybe I'm reading to much into your project. But be careful how you present your "findings." There are enough people out there looking for excuses to take children away from their families already. Don't give them tools to take mine.

 

[willis williams]

Zipperhead, I hear you when I had to deal with the CPS at no fault of my own I was told that I should never handle the disepline of our children because I suffer PTSD. Almost like I was going to catch the in the dark and cut thier throat for not cleaning thier run. But socioty does it on everything with actual combat PTSD we are judged like we are going to go postal. Definatly like the way you put it. I dealt with CPS twice once for step kids being jeious of my biological children and once for the stupid shit my fiance pulled. At least you get a nice I'm sorry letter after words. But the comunity if small enough still veiws you as a monster. Its easy to blame fathers from 20, 30, or 40 years oga for why you believe you never reached you potential. Its harder to say i didn't make the right decissions along the way because I didn't think them through. Scapegoat the easy way

 

[Jimmy1]

Well, my boy has anger issues, but I think a lot of his problems stem more from being around a split of our marriage. Of course you can't deny that if a child grows up in a house where the dad is always yelling and abusive, then that child might think its ok to be like that, and its the norm. But lets look at the basics. What about if a child grows up in a house where the father always belts the mother and that father does not have PTSD. It is proven medically and psychologically that that child has a more than slim chance of ending up belting his own wife, or being violent towards women. I am not saying its a definite, but its a true fact.

Why are we all tarred with the same brush. Do they think we are all 'Rambo'?

 

[Zipperhead]

I have never "belted" the wife around. I have never gone after my kid with a belt. I agree, my wife and I have had words infront of him, but I would guess that happens in most families. The assumption that we must be abusing our kids just because we are having "issues" is an unjust categorization, which is prejudgist and uneducated. No, I am not the perfect Dad. Thank you for pointing that out. Are there any other defamitory comments you want to offer before you take my kid from me?

I find the whole topic of blaming ones parents problems for our short comings weak. Yes, there are some sick puppies out there, and the damage they have done is inexcusable. But to say "I have a problem because my dad had PTSD" is an unfair statement. "I have a problem because my dad beat me / mentally manipulated me / raped me," fine. But the fact that someone has PTSD does not mean that we are going to subject our kids to this behaviour. And to invent a new category of PTSD to define the phenomina puts an unwelcome spot light on all of us who are trying to deal with our issues as best we can. Are there any other tall buildings you would like me to jump while I'm living up to your expectations, or should I just give up now and go away to die?

 

[Jimmy1]

I agree with you mate totally. I have started another thread in relationships and would appreciate a comment.

 

[BV101]

This is a bit freaky. I've never been abused as a child or otherwise. My friend has, but that was in Amsterdam and he was a consenting adult. And he had to pay for it.

So where does that leave me and all the others who don't fit Steve's model? And I would guess that is a big amount on here.

 

[willis williams]

Your just crazy. I don't get my PTSD from my father or grandfather either. I think this model no offense is just a way of finding excuses of shortcomings in ones life. We have free will.