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Families...

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BoN-bOn

Gold Member
I'm jealous of people who have families who are close & supportive. I've always kept so many secrets. & now that my secrets are out, I've lost both of my big sisters who I have always adored. I lost my mom 10 years ago & have made the decision to put distance between my dad & I, because it wasn't healthy for me. I have no family now. Sometimes I doubt whether I'm being selfish, or am I finally standing up for myself?! It's especially hard when you grow up in a religious family, & everything "seemed" picture perfect.
 
It is so painful to disconnect from family because it is so sick and toxic and dysfunctional. I struggle with jealousy too but I also am thankful that the person has that supportive family in their life. It is a struggle to find the balance and sort out what is mine and what is not.

I think some of this is a throwback from my childhood when I entered a home that was supportive of my friend and their ways were so different. But the world needs supportive families and although I hurt from all of my choices to disconnect from mine, I have to say my own life is so much better now without the family of origin sick and toxic dysfunctional ways of being. especially now that they are away from me.

It is my choice to find a meaning and a purpose in my own life now. This is where I am at now.
 
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