Feel The Love

[mamachick]

I talked to my friend today and her aunt is dying of cancer so she was feeling very blue. I asked her if she wanted to go out with others for a drink and she did so I would be DD.

We had fun and laughted. The thing is, I am working on opening my heart. I would have dont this anytime but I am really working on changing my view of others. "if you believe it, it will happen" kind of thing, and understanding the power of attraction. Anyway, we had a very nice time. At some point, there was this man that made contact with me. It was not a big deal, just friendly. When I went to go to the bathroom, he stopped me and started talking, asking what I did, etc. After sharing my name, he said he knew that name. After further conversation, he introduced me to his two lovely children college age and we frgured out that our girls went to high school together and played sports together. His kids gave me a big hug. It was so warm.

When we proceeded to leave, my friend passed out, clearly not from alcohol but from low blood sugar or something. He witnessed it as well and he is a nurse. He jumped to the rescue. The owner got her some coke and candy. He sat with us for at least half an hour and him and his children showed such concern. Other people stopped and checked on my friend and showed concern. I was just so touched by the caring people that I met tonight and I do believe that it has to do with opening my heart up without fear of being abused.

Earlier I listened to an abusive, aggressive, and nasty message from my own daughter. I refused to be drawn into that and responded with love. I dont think that it helped the situation but it helped me. I want so bad to have faith in people again and believe that they are not all abusive, yet it has been so hard when my own family have been. I dont want to sound naive, I am not, but these were genuinely caring people. It did turn out that my friends daughter has been friends with this young lady through high school as well.

It is hard feeling anything but self protectiveness when all the messages are abusive for so very long. I genuinely feel warm in my heart tonight after this incident and all the caring that came out from this man, his son and daughter, the owner, and other patrons. I know we should not sweat the small stuff, but we should not overlook it either.

 

[franciemarnie]

What a wonderful story. Thanks for sharing that. I've often wished there was a magazine or newspaper that just printed true stories of people being wonderful. We hear and see so much lousy stuff on the news and know such pain from interpersonal experience that I often long to hear about just good caring people out there to get a more balanced view and to give my insides a more balanced sense of the real world.

 

[Hashi]

Wow, brat, I love your post.

I struggle to open my heart to people, for slightly different reasons but it ends up a similar issue, and this is a good encouragement and reminder for me.

I'm sorry for what your friend is going through, but it sounds like this was a very positive evening and that is a gift that you played a part in. I'm glad you were met with such warmth and support from other people.

Thank you for sharing this.

 

[KrispyKreme]

I am so happy that you got to have a positive experience! Thank you for sharing the hope.

I hope your friend feels better soon.

KK

 

[maddog]

Yes Brat, thank you so much for sharing this most refreshing and hopeful post. Just as in life, I think that we here on the forum often don't tend to make time for the good stuff either, and it is genuinely refreshing to read a post such as yours.

It was also sobering and timely for me, as I am terribly guilty of focusing only on the negative and challenging human interactions and of withdrawing and shutting myself away in fearful anticipation of them. While it can't always be guaranteed, which is part of the problem, there is no doubt that when we are open to the goodness of others and even initiate and seek it out through our own receptiveness and behaviour, we're much more likely to experience it. The times when I feel myself able to initiate or respond positively to another person feel almost giddying with reward and relief, and I tell myself over and over that I need to hold onto those times and to use them to reinforce my own behaviour in the future.

Sometimes I do. Often I don't. It's a work in progress, but your post was a timely reminder.

Maddog

 

[amcen]

Earlier I listened to an abusive, aggressive, and nasty message from my own daughter. I refused to be drawn into that and responded with love. I dont think that it helped the situation but it helped me.

I genuinely feel warm in my heart tonight after this incident and all the caring that came out from this man, his son and daughter, the owner, and other patrons.

Awww brat17, that looks like deep healing moments! Thank you for sharing that, we so much share very negative stuff here, sometimes even horrible, your post seems to be a pure crystal star sparkle in the dark :happy:

 

[ashdawn8287]

Surround yourself around people like that only.

There are as much bad people as there is good IMHO. You just have to block those bad people out and allow the good in.

The world is full of all kinds of people. Look for the ones that make you feel like that any others leave them alone.

 

[mamachick]

Thank you for all your posts and great responses and letting me know that I am not alone in my thinking. My goal is to meditate for 30 minutes a day to get in touch with my heart. Recently in therapy I said something to the effect "if I am true to my heart, what I really want is....." and my therapist pointed out that I speak from my brain and rarely listen to my heart. Because of this, I often chose the wrong people to be around, probably how my defective brain is conditioned. I also have not forgiven a lot of small things that I need to let go of.

The same incident could have happened and went very differently. This man, is also divorced, was not someone that I would be physically attracted to particularly. Yet he had a genuine warmth, nice smile, and was engaging in a non dramatic way that made him attractive. What really impressed me is that he was at this pub with both of his children-none of them were drunk. He was spending time with them and they were glad to have him there. His daughter told me later that she had told her dad that she knew me from somewhere. When we discovered the connection and he called her over and told her, she gave me a great big genuine hug and asked about both of my daughters. Then she told me that she is moving to Florida on Thursday for a job. I could see a tear in her dads eye. Then the son came over and also knew my girls and gave me a big hug. It was so evident that they were a loving family. Every family has problems and Im sure they do too.

One of my daughters is mormon and has moved away and would never enter a pub, but the other does regularly, but would never do so with me. I feel such hurt over her rejection as I have been a really good mother, supported her in everything, and she has just been able to finish law school. She has always kept me away from her friends. For me, the most important thing in life has been my children and the relationship with them. So I do have a lot of hurt here and notice these kind of things.

So I know I sound a bit mushy, but I was touched by the way these kids respected and treated their father. I was touched at their welcoming hearts. I was touched at their concern for my friend. I know the owner and he was very caring. Some places would want you to just get the person out of there. He was not that way. Caring can be very contagious.

Admittedly, I have become to expect very little. I have become hardened and I dont like it. I have become self protective. I know that having a closed heart does not really protect us, but it is like an instinct at times. I think that for me, having ptsd causes me to ignore the bad that I see, but in doing so, has also cause me to ignore everything including the GOOD-like living in a bubble at times.

So I am going to keep trying to open that heart up and get in touch with what I want from life.