Feel Too Stupid To Find A Really Good Job?

[HT2113]

I'm currently a plant merchandiser and I love it! However, I have some very extreme long term and short term memory loss. I feel like it reduces my accountability in the eyes of some bosses, I'm not sure if I'm justbeing paranoid of this or if I really look dishonest/irresponsible because of my ambiguity about details (when, where's, whats) The job is only seasonal and I'm terrified to go to a job that's not as independent because I do GREAT on my own, but when it comes to passing on details I'm terrible at it because I literally can't remember ANYTHING. If I make notes, I lose the notes I made. I have no clue what to do. How do you cope with memory loss/PTSD's effects on your work in general?

 

[mamachick]

I understand this all too well. I took a part time job. The direct work I love. My focus is on the patients. However, a large majority of work is paperwork, involving Medicaid, which is more than I can keep up with. I had poor training intiitially. then repeated with a good supervisor. Now they think I have MS, as my legs are completely weak. I have almost stopped using this forum as I cant read my own writing. Too many details and just $40 apx. per week. Problem is, it is taking up all this brain space. Think it would be better if I worked full time. When you only work 2-3 hors a week, harder to become familiar with. I take work very serious, so its making me feel most incompetent. Dont know what to do.

 

[Expat in Australia]

I use my iPhone for notes, or I email myself instructions, I'll even dictate into the phone if need be.
But I know EXACTLY what you're talking about. I forget whole conversations. My wife knows I can never relay any dialogue.

It's weird. The first few months of a new job and I suck real bad. Then one day, boom; I'm a rock star. Then within a year I hate the job because its boring and I want to quit. Aye aye aye!

And I'll never take. Job that's really challenging, my esteem is that crap. I go for crap jobs. I hate customers so customer service is out. I think I'd like to mow massive lawns for the council. Headphones, sun, done.

 

[circe47]

This became a huge problem for me when my PTSD went full blown. Suddenly I couldn't remember anything. I've had serious issues and consequences because of this symptom.

For example: My family thought animal therapy would be good for me after my hospitalization. Just doing simple grooming of their horses. Washing them and brushing out manes and tails. After a couple of days doing this, my mother told me to put this one horse in a particular stall (the left or right one- I can't remember) Anyway, not two minutes later I put the horse into a stall with a bitch of a mare- totally the opposite stall she instructed me to put the horse into. Long story short, the mare kicked the $hit out of my dad's horse....broke his hip....and had to be put down.

I tell my therapist about walking to the mail box with my dog on my heels- and shut the door in her face because I forget that she is with me.

I have moments when I don't recognized my own neighborhood when I am driving.....leave burners on the gas stove on....water running......my keys outside on the fence rail.....my pocket book in an unlocked car over night.

Every doctor I tell about this says my memory is fine....because I remember to tell them these incidents. Is it memory?.....or something else is what I want to know. How do I stress how serious the impact is on my life and the consequences for others who get in my path of destruction?