Sufferer Feeling Alone

[Nab4]

I feel like my PTSD has finally won and there's no getting me back from this. I'm a shadow of my former self

 

[Tinyflame]

Welcome @Nab4 . :hug:

 

[Nab4]

I've just had a phone call from my dad he said he's trying to understand. Apparently I'm looking into things too much everyone else goes through much worse things.... he watched his cousin squashed under an Icecream van when he was just 14. He said He didn't get this PTSD but would have if he thought about it all the time.
So this is my fault as I've choose to let it effect me. I'm choosing to be like this.
I'm wrecking the family and asking them to understand I just need to get over this.
Where can I go from here?
He wants to come into my counselling to see what she is saying to me ...apparently she should be making me better but what's she's doing is pampering me choosing to be this way.
If I just relaxed and stopped being such a drama queen I could carry on with a normal life. My mums just embarrassed with how I'm behaving and talking.
I'm so sorry for talking so much but this is my life at rock bottom again and talking to you on here is all I have right now.
I'm just hoping someone on here thinks he's right is this something I can pretend isn't happening to me. Keep everything behind my 4 walls.
Maybe if I just don't see or speak to people then I won't be judged and I can make me better on my own.
I've had just 2 hrs sleep but my anxiety is through the roof and I can't stop crying

 

[Tinyflame]

Hi @Nab4 , I hope you can tune out unhelpful & uniformed perspectives & feedback, regardless who it comes from.

Yes it's everywhere, I just read basically that survival mode is a mindset & a lack of faith. :( Wow. No words for the conclusions people draw. But yes it stings. Definitely not helpful. I give up on that.

I look at it this way, even 'helpful' people send apparently tons of evening gowns to the Red Cross for refugees (they are turned in to cleaning cloths, btw). So really if people don't understand they don't, at this point.

Just take care of yourself & kids & reduce contact if you can. :hug:

 

[Nab4]

Great advice @Junebug
I think that's clearly the only answer.
It's just made me question myself.
I can't help but feel so lonely.....I'm grateful I can now turn here xxxx

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes @Nab4 I think it often makes us question ourselves (I would say 'always' but that's an absolute). One can feel lonelier after than before they hear, read or deal with it. Best to minimize or remove it entirely, why subject one's self to it.

 

[Tinyflame]

Come to think of it, I was once asked if it made me feel 'indignant'. I said sad, but I'd add sad, lonely, isolated, despairing. By all means avoid it. :hug:

 

[Friday]

I've eaten sugar my whole life and I've never gotten diabetes!

While there are some perfectly lovely people whose medical knowledge is so lacking that this statement does get made, oftentimes reframing things helps to put things in perspective. Not everyone who eats sugar gets diabetes, and not everyone who experiences Trauma gets PTSD.

Some people want to understand, but can't. Others are protecting themselves. Others are willfully ignorant. Others are trying to share what's helped them, in the best way they know how. Regardless of why, it can be hurtful and frustrating, when the people we love best just don't get it.

Welcome to the forums.

 

[Nab4]

What you are all saying to me makes perfect sense.
When it's strangers I've learnt to live with their responses.
Doubt from your parents who you presume would always protect you and never doubt you or knowingly make you worse in a situation like I've been through is for me the most horrendous part.
I don't know if listening to my counsellor will help him to understand his daughter isn't choosing this, she's ill.
He can hear what a lonely place I'm in right now but hear it from a professional it's just a shame he can't just believe me.
My mum however will remain ignorant because she is always right and no one dare question what she thinks.
She's not once apologised for her behaviour even when she knows she's wrong she will just pretend it didn't happen.
It hasn't helped that I forgot to take my anxiety medication for two days I've only been on it two months but now can see a slight difference.
At the minute I'm happier asleep, surrounded with my children or at work in a completely different country.
My crew don't judge. It's a sad day when I'd rather go through hell and a day of trigger after trigger to get me away to a different country than be here and suffer x

 

[KwanYingirl]

Stick with the people that don't judge you. Surround yourself with validation. Any illness or condition is often met by denial and minimizing. Your parents have their own work to do. Meanwhile trust the experts and be thankful you have supportive coworkers. That's a huge bonus. When my mind drifts off to dark thoughts, I try to bring it back to the here and now-safe and healing. Some days are so difficult, sometimes I take one step forward and then fall back again. This I know is true without a doubt-you are a normal person who is reacting to an abnormal situation. Remember the pilot who landed his passenger plane on the Hudson River and is a hero? He retired because he developed PTSD.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

Unfortunatelly my family disowned me after my breakdown. I was thrown out into the streets to live homeless for a while. It was not until I found this forum and the wonderful supporters on it that I had any form of support at all.

Welcome to the forum @Nab4

Sending Warm :hug:s

Laurie

 

[joeylittle]

Welcome to the forum, @Nab4. It's great that you found us, and I hope you can find both support and information here. You're not alone.