Feeling Like A Bad Person

[ms spock]

You are not a bad person.

Here, here!

I also put up a wall hanging up in my home in a very visible area that says, "You as much as anyone else in the universe deserve your love and affection."

I know it sounds kind of dumb, but it really has helped when I am having a crummy day when I am excessively hard on myself. If you have trouble saying nice things to yourself, just repeating those words to yourself is a start.

Excellent strategy @kittiekittie.

I rang the helplines like lifeline for a bit. And in almost every conversation people would say. "Oh you are being so hard on yourself!" I don't know if you would ever ring a helpline but it was helpful for me to hear that.

 

[ms spock]

You need CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) and DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) phasers set not to stun,* on your self hatred and those distorted feelings (and remember feelings aren't facts). Distorted thinking aren't facts either.





*This will make absolutely no sense to you if you are not a Star Trek fan.

 

[nomedic1]

Beam me up Scotty

 

[Barconian]

A sociopath or narcissist gives not one iota of thought to these things.

Hitler had his one positive! That one positive can create a conscience enough to make him look at himself and I bet he didn't like what he saw.

 

[Stagetrapdoor]

I found it helpful to write lists and if I could not think of something I liked about myself, I would ask people who love me for ideas.

I believe Anthony said something about forgiving yourself for the PTSD. I have had so much self hatred for being spacey and forgetting to call people over the years. You want to be this warm , loving person but then I lose interest .

I also did not want to speak with anyone I knew in the years I was being sexually abused by my dad. This hurt some very , dear friends. I couldn't tell them and on the surface, our home was the hip place to be. My abuser was well loved. I didn't want to spoil the fantasy. I also think that when they are so very scary and threatening, you are too afraid to be angry with them so you decide to make yourself the scapegoat. That has been my experience.

I could logically reason that he did what he did and recall the details but still I must have provoked it somehow or deserved such bad treatment by so many humans. You think there has to be a logical reason for their abuse.

I can really relate to Spock . I always thought there had to be a logical explanation for everything and there really isn't. People just do mean things and there is no rhyme or reason for it. I have seen your posts here in the past few days and found you to be a sensitive , caring person.

I hope you make a love me list soon.

 

[ms spock]

*beams up nomedic1 with some really good CBT and DBT workbooks to work on*

 

[nomedic1]

Thanks Spock

 

[Crow88]

Hey, um I don't have much to say here other than: no matter how many people tell me I'm not a bad person, I continue to feel like the worst piece of cr@p that ever walked this earth. For me, the intense memories and feeling are hard to process and I can revert back to self-blame which is how I was taught to see negative issues as a child (that things were my fault). T he only thing that helps me is to talk to other people who are further ahead in their road to recovery...or to talk to my therapist. Those people can empathise and share insights about the 'you' they see and care about.

I'm truly sorry you feel so bad within yourself. You don't deserve this.

 

[ms spock]

The only thing that helps me is to talk to other people who are further ahead in their road to recovery...or to talk to my therapist.

That is clever that you worked this out @Crow88

I'm truly sorry you feel so bad within yourself. You don't deserve this.

Absolutely not.

 

[ms spock]

I hope you stick with the 5 minutes, refuting that confirmation bias and writing stuff around it.