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General Feeling Ripped Off

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discarded

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Today my feelings are swinging toward feeling ripped off. Ripped off that this illness has robbed me of so many things.

I have been married for 27 and 1/2 years and now very recently separated. Due to my husband's military career I travelled around Australia with him and our children, moving every few years as postings dictated. I willingly gave up the support of my large close knot family back home, put any plans for a career for myself on hold and happily devoted my life to supporting him and his chosen career.

Now thanks to PTSD everything has changed. My hopes and dreams have gone, along with my relationship with my husband. Today I am feeling like it is all about me and what I have lost.

Do others feel this way sometimes?
 
I think you are normal for what you have endured and suffered. It probably is a betrayal of you. That is one of the hardest things to heal from. There is nothing wrong with you. You deserve alot of good.

Now you have to start over and dream new dreams and build a new life. I am starting over, long story, and it is hard because I moved to a city where I do not know anyone. I do not get out much. I do what I can.

Can you move to be with your family again? I wish you the best. I cannot imagine the pain you must be in. Big hugs.
 
I've been struggling with that one a long time. I try to rationalize it to myself and others exhaustively. Its hard to accept. Trying not to blame myself when a lot of people have and trying not to feel like a loser and let it get on top of me is tough.

Take it easy on yourself. :hug:
 
I do feel guilty some days though because his pain must be so much worse than mine.

I suppose its just two different things. I'm a sufferer btw. When I was caught in it, I fought but didn't know what it was and couldn't see my own behavior. Looking back now, I cant quite believe how thrown around by it I was. It consumed me. My ex-fiance used to say there wasn't any room for how he felt in our relationship and I didn't understand what he meant. I had the responsibility for everything financial and household, I worked, studied and went to counselling. But I can see what he meant. In a way there wasn't any room for what I was actually feeling either. It was just me grappling with it and wanting him to save me from it. It wasn't until it had gotten so tough that I started to get some decent information on the condition and by then it had worn us down and I had gone into a shell because I didn't know how to trust him.

When we split up we both had tears streaming down our faces. Don't feel guilty.
 
As a sufferer I also feel like the illness has robbed me of many things I could have achieved. It isn't fair, but life isn't. You just have to make the most of what you have. Sometimes it hurts to dwell on what could have been, but it is best to look to the future as the past cannot be undone, it only makes you feel worse.
 
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