Feeling Sleep Deprived, Bad Dreams Every Night

[tinyleaves]

I'm posting here mostly because I want to see how common this problem is. I was diagnosed with ptsd a couple of years ago but don't have flashbacks so I don't know if ptsd applies to me. It will probably happen if I start to remember the actual physical memories.

Anyway, I was wondering if anyone here has disrupted sleep. Everything was ok in my life until 2012 when I had a horrific nightmare which felt like it was actually happening. I stopped breathing in my sleep (from what was happening in the dream) and woke up and something must have affected me because from there on out I had bad dreams almost every night. I think it had to do with not breathing.

I know when people sleep regularly they get, deep, peaceful sleep that restores their mind and body. You wake up refreshed and feeling normal. Well since that nightmare the bad dreams interrupt me while sleeping so that I can't sleep normally. It's like when someone's sleep deprived and wakes up several times in the night. This now happens every night and I can't get any sleep.

What happened from then on were bad nightmares (which were increasingly getting more and more scarier/distressful). For instance one of them was about me being a little kid and having my mom abandon me in an area full of crack addicts that were high and freaking out. It felt real and every night going through this was painful. The dreams were getting more upsetting as time passed. It's weird too because the dreams aren't examples of anything I can explain and are random but they still bother me. Eventually weeks of this is would drive a person crazy and I was getting pretty desperate for a solution.

The thing that saved me was Prazosin which stopped the dreams. I just went to bed with a blank memory waking up (I remember almost every dream). I still didn't get the deep, restorative sleep though. It still felt like it was interrupted all of the time (even though I'm physically asleep?) The ONLY time I experienced the deep, normal sleep like I had before the nightmare was when I took too much ambien (I think it was 25-30mg not sure). I tried the same amount again multiple times and didn't have the same effect.

Now the intense nightmares are gone but every night the dreams are very unpleasant or bad. For instance, one was like having your feelings hurt and experiencing it in sleep (and in real life). It's very frustrating and I don't know what to do. I haven't had one instance of normal sleep for over a year and a half (I wake up feeling sleep deprived). I'm just really desperate to get sleep where I don't have to be uncomfortable. I've tried melatonin, ambien...probably a lot of other things. But none of them can get back to my normal sleeping.

Has anyone felt this before? I wake up feeling sleep deprived every single day!

Is there a way to get a good night of deep sleep? Is therapy the answer for this?
Thanks in advance! ~a

 

[AS1975]

Therapy can and does help from my experience. The wake up call for me was precisely what you have described, a nightmare that (a) woke me up and (b) seemed to keep going after I was awake. It might be that you are doing what I was doing, not actually remembering what you were dreaming of, doesn't mean it ain't there, but waking up with the worn out, soaked in sweat, adrenaline withdrawal, absolute waste of a sleep that I used to get.

That sense of sleep deprivation - for me at least - was very, very real, I was intensely sleep deprived and that meant I was living on nerves that were fraying further and further each day. I started experiencing brain explosions, fairly serious ones, on a daily basis as my nerves were frayed to breaking point due to sleep deprivation and stress. Sooner or later something had to pop, luckily I realised that I had to seek help before that happened. Then again, it might be just me, I'm not qualified to tell you whether you actually "need" help, realistically no-one is, that decision has to be an internal one in order for it to work.

AS

 

[CVC]

I have struggled with sleep issues for years, and continue to struggle. That said, I have managed to mostly conquer my nightmares. And, although I still can't sleep for more than a few hours at a time, at least the sleep I do get feels restful--and less scary!

I went through periods of intense nightmares that continued to be incredibly disturbing to me after I woke up. What eventually helped was EMDR sessions. The interesting thing for me was that I did sessions where I'd target the images and feelings from the actual dreams, rather than from memory. Of course, the two are often closely intertwined--but it's interesting to me that targeting the nightmares themselves can bring such relief. This could be especially helpful to know if you have trouble with concrete memories.

Another thing to note: According to my doctor, marijuana can help with PTSD sleep problems. On one hand, it will help you get to sleep. Perhaps as an additional bonus(?), it seems harder to remember your dreams. I don't think impairing nightmare recall really solves the restlessness issue, but if medical marijuana is an option for you, it could be something to consider if the memories of the dreams themselves continue to be really disturbing and intrusive after waking. (Personally, I prefer to keep my recall so I can then target the disturbing thoughts/feelings with journaling, therapy, or EMDR, but I could imagine wanting to just erase the nightmares.)

Sending you all my wishes for some relief soon!

 

[TwoDee2ThreeDee]

I never dream but I wake up at 2 am and can't get back to sleep for at least an hour or two. This happens at least twice per week.

 

[AS1975]

I honestly don't notice the dreams very often with Seroquel and Fluvoxamine - the trouble is that I'm still having them, I simply have no recall (as my partner can attest to). I'm still thrashing about, still grinding my teeth and still waking up tired. Recently I pinned her to my bed with my legs and had a discussion with her in the middle of the night and I have no recall at all. That said, I wouldn't swap it for the non-stop nightmares I was having without it.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Not everyone with PTSD has nightmares.

Will therapy help? Perhaps. I suggest that you find a good trauma therapist.

I had a recurring nightmare for years. I looked it up in a dream book. It said I was holding in secrets that I needed to tell. After I disclosed the trauma, no more of those nightmares.

I wish you well.

 

[Hashi]

I think what comes up when we're asleep is often what we can't or won't see when we're awake. If you don't process trauma then you're suppressing it. If you suppress it then it's going to break out in some way - either as outbursts/episodes when awake, or as nightmares etc when asleep and our conscious defences are down.

To me, things coming out like this means it's time to work on the trauma. Processing usually means therapy with a trauma specialist, plus things that you do on your own alongside that.

Is there a reason you're not having therapy?

 

[franciemarnie]

I remember the nights long ago when I would wake because I wasn't breathing. That's a horrible feeling. Horrible. They were panic attacks during sleep. I was under tremendous stress at the time and would also have the same dream over and over of my teeth crumbling - another sign indicative of unbearable stress.

The trauma energy must be dislodged and released. Pills only camouflage symptoms. The original wound remains. You must get help.

 

[tinyleaves]

Thank you to everyone for their answers. It's reassuring to know others have the same issues with sleep.

I looked around the website and started to read other people's experiences. I noticed that some people are suffering from having one trauma in their life (car wreck, assault, violence). It is surprising because just one thing that would upset someone is just a small part of what I've experienced my whole life.

I am going to try and start seeing a therapist again (I quit 5 months ago due to money/moving). I think I am 1000 times worse off now than before because I am in a stressful environment. Something else that has been upsetting is that I'm having pain in my face which is stressing me out.

I'm mostly scared that talking about trauma will open up a pandora's box. My therapist that I saw said that's what it would be like and I would have to be prepared for how bad it is. I have been through multiple life changing traumas but when I think about them the emotions/physical aspect isn't there. I can see the memory like a movie but cannot feel it. I'm also worried that I will not be able to psychologically handle it. I agree about suppression. I have suppressed everything and it is starting to chip away at my self-control and sanity. I feel like my old self has died and that I'm just an existing shell. I find it almost impossible to try and open up to a therapist. Thanks for your advice on confronting the trauma. I think it's probably time to start getting to it.

 

[franciemarnie]

You are definitely not alone.

You don't have to talk about what actually happened that caused PTSD with a T to heal. You might check out the variety of healing approaches including my personal fav - Somatic Therapy. It can retraumatize a person to go over the details. That isnt necessary to heal. We have to release the trauma energy coiled tight within our bodies in a safe way.

I used to feel nothing. The beginning that helped me to feel emotion again was in quietly feeling what was going on in my body from toes to head. Like pressure in my feet, feeling electrical currents, spinning atoms, burning sensation and so on. I would just be aware and not try to fix it - just be open to experiencing it.

That began my healing. 25 years of talk therapy accomplished nothing. I wish I could get my money back.

You will find your way. You are on the hero's journey now.

 

[Definitely..maybe]

This could be totally off but I just learned I have sleep apnea along with PTSD. I didn't know much about it, but they told me after diagnosing it that it could help with my horrible sleep and nightmares.

They told me I stop breathing in my sleep and in order to not die my body comes up with the scariest images and thoughts in the form of nightmares to wake me up and get me breathing again. I just thought I had nightmares!

Just something to think about:)

 

[Ghostybear73]

I had a bout with severe sleep deprivation a month or so ago. I remember being in class and making a fool of myself over the doors. Every time a door would close (anywhere in the building), I would have to cover my ears. We had to remove all the clocks because the sound of the clicking got me to a point of delerium. Hallucinations are very common with severe sleep deprivation.

There are a lot of people going through what you are, just look around this site. Be careful with the prazosin. There is a side effect that of course I experiencd. The higher the dose, the more hallucinations. you have, which is why I was switched to clonodine. Hopefully you will not have to worry about that.

Good luck