Feeling Stuck

[mamachick]

Since I started having symptoms I feel like I dont have choices. My daughter tells me how I have all these choices but I dont really see them.
I need to sell my home and find someplace smaller, this is much to big Iand I can no longer handle the maintainance. I have been working on getting it ready. I would prefer to rent but need a place that will allow my two big dogs. I should move several miles to a bigger city so I could at least work part time. Then I thinkd I wont be able to find a rental and will have to buy something. Then I end up doing nothing. I guess I am just afraid of things getting worse. I know I need to make these changes and find some closure. Besides, I was attacked in my home and dont like being her, so it wuld probably be better for me. I fear ending up homeless. Damn crazy brain. Just writing this makes me cry.

 

[charliehotelwhiskey]

Hi brat17,

Sometimes I have the same problem in making decisions. Even if it is a simple thing, I can get easily overwhelmed. Its frustrating.

I know moving is a very big decision to make. I had done it 1993 and it took quite a bit out of me. But I have no regrets and happy that I did.

Maybe your daughter can help you work through the choices and make it less scary for you.

I wish I have better advice.

Take Care

CHW

 

[mamachick]

charliehotelwhiskey-Thanks. You are right. Is procrastination a symptom-lol. Details seem so overwhelming. My situation obviously involves trust issues-my ex is on the house and therefore pays his share for his own good reputation. Once is name is off, Im not sure he will pay the money he owes and I foresee spending a lot of legal fee's.

 

[SimplyComplex]

This is actually trouble I had more before I ever started therapy. I had no idea how damaged I was from my upbringing, to be honest. So much denial. But in the past several years I was able to start really making progress in my life, where I had really been on hold for a long time, and alot of this was much improved before I ever started therapy (although I imagine there are still weak spots).

What I found that worked best for me was not over thinking situations, but rather just think of the tiny first step...and it doesn't have to be towards a specific decision even, it could be in general. Then move on to the next. Its like filling a bucket with an eyedropper...when you think of the task ahead it seems insane and impossible. If you sit there thinking about it, nothing happens. But if you just focus on each eyedropper full, one by one, before you know it your bucket is 1/4 full...then 1/2 full...then full.
Maybe it wont work for everyone. The example I share was starting going to the gym, because it is easy to show the steps. I was waaaaaay out of shape and waaaaaaay not into exercise and waaaaaaay afraid of the gym. So I would just focus on putting on my work out clothes. Then my socks. Then my shoes. Then grab my stuff. Get in the car. Drive. Park. Walk in. Step on the machine. I never thought about the next step and I never thought about the goal of getting in shape...never thought about anything but the next step. 1.5 years later and I am fairly fit. I used to struggle to get through 20 minutes walking on the tread mill, now I can run, spin, box, lift and a ton of other things. My bucket is getting alot fuller, that is for sure.

So your problem is that you want to move, but you are having trouble making decisions or steps, right? Can you pick just a first step towards your goal of moving? It can be super simple like print out listings of rentals in the area you are looking for or making contact with a rental agent in that area. Your first step can be done online, perhaps? Just make sure once you have done your first step, that you evaluate what your next step is.

Just an idea. Its been working for me for a long time. I find I end up not having to make such big decisions too because once I get there, the issues and solution are just more well defined. It is so much less effort.

Anyways, good luck!