Feeling Trapped In Life

[Jazeelady]

I am having thoughts of suicide. I so long to just disappear. I won't. I can't. My kids need me. There isn't anyone else who can deal with their issues. So I have to stay on this earth for them. But when I get really low like now I feel so trapped. I can't even go for a hospital stay again as my youngest is highly triggered by hospitals. She finally just finished trauma therapy. So here am, stuck again. Stuck in life. A life I love yet want to run away from. I'm so tired of fighting this fight. It just never seems to get better.

 

[chade66]

Sometimes the best we can do is to move little tiny steps forward. I know that its hard, like you are carrying a huge extra weight, but you can do this. You are not alone.

 

[erigby]

I am having thoughts of suicide. I so long to just disappear. I won't. I can't. My kids need me. Ther...

Are you still there?
I am so sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
I have children of my own and was recently hospitalized.
I am sorry to hear you are struggling with SI as well.
It is a horrible feeling.
I don't wish it on anyone.
I still have those thoughts. Today in particular was very overwhelming.
I do think my new medication is helping.
Mostly in that...I seem to be able to hold onto the urges a bit longer without going into the downward spiral with no way out.
Have you been able to find your way there?
Also, distractions help...on my new medicine that is.
Before they did not good what so ever.
Lastly, I am currently in a situation with very few triggers.
Have you been able to identify what your triggers are yet?
I ask because it has taken me some time and I am still working on it.
Being able to identify them has helped pull me out of the spiral of SI.
I hope this helps.
I am so sorry you find yourself in this place.
It sucks. It sucks to no end. It is painful. So painful. It feels like it will never end like there is no way out.

 

[Jazeelady]

Thanks. It's good to know I'm not alone. I have so many triggers. Some are obvious and some just knock me off my feet. I get so tired and I dissociate a lot. I see the dr on Monday so I'm thinking a change in mess may be in order. Again! It's just so tiring. I keep hanging in and mostly just keep pretending I'm ok because it's easier. It's good to be able to post to others who understand what is really happening. Thanks for t he listen!