joeylittle
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@Mr Laurie - are you detoxing at the same time as all this, and are they giving you medication to support that process?
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- #14
D
Deleted member 20280
@joeylittle yes I am detoxing at the same time, they are amending my medication on a weekly basis, I am heading off now to see my detox chappie, they have upped my Neurontin dose from 300ml per day to 800ml per day and my seizures are now lessfrequent and less violent thankfully. The doctors are right on top of this issue,
Physio is working on my paralysis and I have limited mobility in my left arm now, but still cant use my left hand properly, have limited use in my thumb and index finger now, and am doing all the right excercises to straighten out the other three.
Physio is working on my paralysis and I have limited mobility in my left arm now, but still cant use my left hand properly, have limited use in my thumb and index finger now, and am doing all the right excercises to straighten out the other three.
joeylittle
Sponsor
That's great to hear, @Mr Laurie - keep at it :tup:
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- #16
D
Deleted member 20280
Well, been to see my alcohol councillor this afternoon. My alcohol intake is down from 90 units per day :eek: to just 8 to 12 units per day, my drug intake is zero :woot: and he is really happy with my current progress.
He does feel however that I am in fact alcohol dependant and am close to reaching a plateau with my drinking and that if I were to try and stop entirely, ( which I keep trying to do by going cold turkey) that my body will crash. He wants to get me to a baseline dependence of 4 - 6 units per day which would put me into the accepted daily intake for a male drink dependant.
I certainly feel better for quitting drugs and the hard liqor.
:happy: Mr Laurie today.
He does feel however that I am in fact alcohol dependant and am close to reaching a plateau with my drinking and that if I were to try and stop entirely, ( which I keep trying to do by going cold turkey) that my body will crash. He wants to get me to a baseline dependence of 4 - 6 units per day which would put me into the accepted daily intake for a male drink dependant.
I certainly feel better for quitting drugs and the hard liqor.
:happy: Mr Laurie today.
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- #17
D
Deleted member 20280
OK then, I have been in a proper bad place recently physically and medically.
Timeline :-
April 15th - I suffer my first heart attack. Diagnosed with tachycardia and angina. (Subsequently I have now suffered a further 5 in the last twelve months)
November 21st - I suffer my first serious Epileptic seizure (I have now suffered in excess of 250 in the last six months)
January 1st - I suffer such a bad seizure the doctors are intubating me in intensive care when I regain consciousness.
February 1st - I am investigated for stomach cancer and bowel cancer as a mass the size of a grapefruit is located via cat scan in my abdomen.
March1st - I am diagnosed with PNES as the cause of my seizures.
March 4th - I suffer a serious malaene bleed in my stomach, requiring urgent endoscopic surgery to seal the tear in my stomach lining which could have prove fatal if it had not been identified soon enough, meaning I needed an immediate 3 litre blood transfusion and a litre if blood plasma. This is identified as the cause of the mass in my abdomen, negating cancer.
April 28th - I suffer my first mini stroke ( now I have had a further six in the last two weeks).
Conclusion :-
I was diagnosed three years ago after a huge psychological breakdown with PTSD, C-PTSD, COMBAT PTSD and ancilliary mental health conditions. I spend three years immersed in research into mental health after losing my entire world to a mental injury I suffered as a result of decades of child abuse and service to Queen and country.
Basically I have been through hell from the age of two, surviving severe abuse, being raped at knife point, being shot at and blown up in military service. Being paralyzed and having to learn to walk again. I survived being involved as a driver in a head on 80mph car crash in 2001. I have survived trying to commit suicide several times. Being placed into medically induced comas on two occasions in 1993 and 2013 (both of which I defied medical science and should have died from).
All of the last 43 years surviving amount to this much, nothing. I can't travel back in time and change what I have experienced in life because contrary to theoretical belief time travel is not and will never be possible. What has happened has happened and cannot ever be changed. Likewise what is going to happen cannot be predicted because it is yet to happen. Giving birth to the saying "Que Sera Sera".
So my feelings now having been diagnosed with life threatening medical conditions after surviving as much as I already have are these :-
I can't change what has happened and I can't influence what is yet to happen, unless I wrap myself in bubble wrap and close myself off from the rest of the world.
Well I for one will not be resigning myself to a lifetime of living like a hermit in total seclusion. No ! I will be taking every day as if it is my last. It has taken me almost three years and many stumbles to come to this conclusion.
"What has happened as a result of my past is because of my past and belong in the past. I now face my future and stride forward to make happy memories for my past. "
This may sound to many as philosophical clap trap but, it also happens to be true. I can't affect the past or the future, I clearly survived my previous life and am still surviving even now, I am no longer suffering the trauma of my past in any metaphysical way, I am meerly reliving the memories of that trauma expoaure of which I am in control of. I can chose to relive the past or deal with it !
Well I have dealt with it. I now face physical problems that can actually threaten my life in a physical way.
Watch this space people.
Timeline :-
April 15th - I suffer my first heart attack. Diagnosed with tachycardia and angina. (Subsequently I have now suffered a further 5 in the last twelve months)
November 21st - I suffer my first serious Epileptic seizure (I have now suffered in excess of 250 in the last six months)
January 1st - I suffer such a bad seizure the doctors are intubating me in intensive care when I regain consciousness.
February 1st - I am investigated for stomach cancer and bowel cancer as a mass the size of a grapefruit is located via cat scan in my abdomen.
March1st - I am diagnosed with PNES as the cause of my seizures.
March 4th - I suffer a serious malaene bleed in my stomach, requiring urgent endoscopic surgery to seal the tear in my stomach lining which could have prove fatal if it had not been identified soon enough, meaning I needed an immediate 3 litre blood transfusion and a litre if blood plasma. This is identified as the cause of the mass in my abdomen, negating cancer.
April 28th - I suffer my first mini stroke ( now I have had a further six in the last two weeks).
Conclusion :-
I was diagnosed three years ago after a huge psychological breakdown with PTSD, C-PTSD, COMBAT PTSD and ancilliary mental health conditions. I spend three years immersed in research into mental health after losing my entire world to a mental injury I suffered as a result of decades of child abuse and service to Queen and country.
Basically I have been through hell from the age of two, surviving severe abuse, being raped at knife point, being shot at and blown up in military service. Being paralyzed and having to learn to walk again. I survived being involved as a driver in a head on 80mph car crash in 2001. I have survived trying to commit suicide several times. Being placed into medically induced comas on two occasions in 1993 and 2013 (both of which I defied medical science and should have died from).
All of the last 43 years surviving amount to this much, nothing. I can't travel back in time and change what I have experienced in life because contrary to theoretical belief time travel is not and will never be possible. What has happened has happened and cannot ever be changed. Likewise what is going to happen cannot be predicted because it is yet to happen. Giving birth to the saying "Que Sera Sera".
So my feelings now having been diagnosed with life threatening medical conditions after surviving as much as I already have are these :-
I can't change what has happened and I can't influence what is yet to happen, unless I wrap myself in bubble wrap and close myself off from the rest of the world.
Well I for one will not be resigning myself to a lifetime of living like a hermit in total seclusion. No ! I will be taking every day as if it is my last. It has taken me almost three years and many stumbles to come to this conclusion.
"What has happened as a result of my past is because of my past and belong in the past. I now face my future and stride forward to make happy memories for my past. "
This may sound to many as philosophical clap trap but, it also happens to be true. I can't affect the past or the future, I clearly survived my previous life and am still surviving even now, I am no longer suffering the trauma of my past in any metaphysical way, I am meerly reliving the memories of that trauma expoaure of which I am in control of. I can chose to relive the past or deal with it !
Well I have dealt with it. I now face physical problems that can actually threaten my life in a physical way.
Watch this space people.
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It is amazing, is it not, how the brain shifts when one thinks there may be limited time left (which, of course, there always is, whether a doctor tells us or not). What if I had only 8 more days left? Would I sit in my home and isolate or would I sit by the beach; go for a walk; etc.
Good for you Laurie, for posting this. I hear what you are saying. All the best in health and happiness to you my friend.
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- #20
D
Deleted member 20280
@mrsps :hug:s back
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- #21
D
Deleted member 20280
I have been back to see my GP and he has confirmed that I not only have PNES but my heart issues have also been confirmed, he has also confirmed that I have suffered numerous mini strokes as well.
No one need feel sorry for me, these medical conditions are as a result of my coming off alcohol. Having been alcohol dependant for nearly 25 years has ravaged my body badly and I only have myself to blame.
My seizures are now under relative control as my Gabapentin has now been doubled to six hundred mg a day.
I am due to see the stroke clinic in the next 3 weeks to ascertain the level of damage the strokes have caused me. I remain semi paralyzed down my left hand side. I have limited use if my left arm and hand now but with physiotherapy I am regaining the use of my hand slowly.
I wish to thank all members who have supported and cared about me these past six months.
No one need feel sorry for me, these medical conditions are as a result of my coming off alcohol. Having been alcohol dependant for nearly 25 years has ravaged my body badly and I only have myself to blame.
My seizures are now under relative control as my Gabapentin has now been doubled to six hundred mg a day.
I am due to see the stroke clinic in the next 3 weeks to ascertain the level of damage the strokes have caused me. I remain semi paralyzed down my left hand side. I have limited use if my left arm and hand now but with physiotherapy I am regaining the use of my hand slowly.
I wish to thank all members who have supported and cared about me these past six months.
I went to post this on your other thread but was told I couldn't by a meanie automated message, I guess you imported it to this thread based on the message above?
Mr PTSD God, you confuse and unsettle my paranoia daily haha.
Aww @Mr Laurie, its not fair to state that you are entirely to blame.
You've done your best, and the coping mechanisms you developed were simply the best you had at the time given your resources.
I know first hand how hard it can be to accept that your mistakes in the past may alter your future.
Take care of you, the worlds a better place with Mr Lauries on it xxxxx
Mr PTSD God, you confuse and unsettle my paranoia daily haha.
Aww @Mr Laurie, its not fair to state that you are entirely to blame.
You've done your best, and the coping mechanisms you developed were simply the best you had at the time given your resources.
I know first hand how hard it can be to accept that your mistakes in the past may alter your future.
Take care of you, the worlds a better place with Mr Lauries on it xxxxx
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- #23
D
Deleted member 20280
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