Flashbacks Without Emotions

[brokenchild]

I don't even know if these are considered "flashbacks" as they have no emotional component anymore. When I used to remember some things that happened, I would get anxious and often have panic attacks. Now, they seem to just be memories, but sometimes they are still intrusive in that I just can't get them out of my head.

Is it a good thing they seem to have lost their emotional component or have I just "repressed" that part of it again? I never know when I have made real progress and when I have just gone back to ignoring it.

How does everyone else tell the difference?

 

[BloomInWinter]

I have NO idea, but I sure do hear ya!

 

[Tinyflame]

I've had that before, especially if they seem to be just 'visual' (not auditory) and are very fleeting. I might feel terror/ horror, fear etc after, but it's 'over' by then and I'm literally 'thinking' of what I had the flashback of, almost, it's so fast. It's like not having any feeling during it and then immediately when it's over the feeling is there (but I am 'here', and trying to scramble at where am I?, what was/ am I doing now, etc).

 

[Ananda]

After my trauma, I numbed. I never felt as emotional about it as I probably should have. I could always tell the story and never feel emotional about it. My numbing and dissociating is the first thing I have to tackle before I can move on to processing memories & emotions. Part of what happens with PTSD is that the right and left brain don't communicate well - right=emotion left=logic. I can't say if this is what is happening with you. The fact that you are still having intrusive flashbacks makes me wonder. I think when we begin to process the memories the goal is that they are eventually no longer disturbing or that they don't trigger PTSD symptoms. I find myself asking these sorts of questions about my progress. I think this is a good question for a professional - someone that specializes in PTSD.

 

[anni]

This is just an FYI, what's up with mine reply, and sadly lacking perspecitve, I'm afraid. The stupid things haven't evoked much of any fear for years, really, I think since I've felt safe here where I am. Then I'll scramble to catch up with it, like Junebug, because geesh- it was there, so why, for God's sake? Funny, too, they've been making me genuinely angry this last year or so. I don't know, it feels like because it's sort of 'Oh for God's sake ENOUGH already, go AWAY'. It's unsettling possibly, and just plain annoying. I'm tired tired tired of trying to connect the dots, work on dynamics and hope they'll cease forever.I don't even wish to waste my hour with the T on the subject, since it's still infrequent, plus like I said, the fear isn't there with them much these days.

 

[Tinyflame]

Dear anni, I am just wondering if the physical pain is triggering you more, but the emotional (cognitive recognition of safety) is trying to counteract it? Just a thought
(Plus hugs to you! :))

 

[anni]

HA! Hee- that would be it. Thanks Junebug- things do not make one so foggy when you can get your head around a WHY, you know? Ha! Thank you- and hugs much- truly. :)

 

[brokenchild]

Thanks for the comments and input everyone! It's something I'm still working on, though this isn't the main issue with my trauma we're addressing in therapy at the moment.