Flashbacks

[healingangel90]

I've been dealing with more and more flashbacks lately. They've only started after I started going to therapy - maybe its that infamous 'getting worse before getting better'? They're so hard to deal with though. I know that they're just flashbacks and I am in the present, but they leave me scared and hopeless. A lot of time now, I just feel like I'm losing my strength to keep fighting. Any tips on how I could be handling this better?

 

[Nyx]

There are four steps you can take:

1.Notice what you are EXPERIENCING
2.Figure out what in this current situation is SIMILAR to the past, stressful situation
3.Figure out what in this current situation is DIFFERENT from the past situation
4.Decide what ACTION you want to take in this moment to help you feel better

1. What are you experiencing?

• Notice and then describe to yourself ‹what you are feeling .
• This could be a feeling word (for example, “angry” or “scared”). ‹
• ‹It might be a sensation in your body (for example, feeling like you can’t breathe, feeling nauseous, or feeling the urge to run).

2. How is this current situation similar to your past situation?

• Is the setting or time of year similar?
• Are the sights, sounds or smells similar?
• If another person is involved, is s/he acting in a way similar to what happened in the past?
• Is what you are feeling similar to what you felt then? (For example, powerless or scared).

3. What is different now?

• What is different about you? (For example, you are older and have more safety options).
• What is different about this current setting? (For example, this is your adult bedroom, not your childhood bedroom).
• ‹What is different about the person(s) involved? (For example, this person believes what you say and treats you with caring and respect).

4. What action can you take to feel better in this moment?

• If the flashback occurred because you are again in an unsafe situation, you must take whatever steps you can to increase your safety at this moment.
• If your current safety is not in danger, you may choose to do things to “ground” and reassure yourself.

Some ways to help ground and reassure yourself

• Breathe. This is a very important step.
• Remind yourself of your current safety, of the presence of people in your life who respect and care for you, of options you have in this moment.
• Treat yourself kindly in a concrete way, like listening to soothing music, taking a warm bath, or watching a beautiful sunset. This will also help you stay in the present moment.

Here's the brochure I took this information from: http://www.madison.va.gov/documents/women/Flashbacks.pdf

Do you know other grounding techniques that work for you?

 

[healingangel90]

Thank you for your reply Nyx! It really helped put all of my feelings into words. I've been having a really hard time dealing with these new flashbacks (I've never experienced them before. They started about 2 weeks ago.) so I think I'll work on learning to ground myself instead of letting them consume me.

 

[Mercy]

Thanks Nyz, I needed a good clear simple and complete list. In a flashback it is hard for me to be able to think. Maybe memorizing what helps will allow me to get to them when I am crisis. And thanks for being one of our Moderators.

 

[kimberley dawn]

That was helpfull reading, Nyx! I too am having these, but only feelings. I can sit or walk and suddenly I'm soooo afraid, lost and all alone. Try telling myself there's no need to be scared anymore, and it isn't. So I just can't see why they come more and more often now.

So I'll try to remember some of the stuff you wrote here.

 

[Howard Beal]

Sorry to butt in here. Thanks Nyx I have been suffering from flashbacks & nightmares re:
certain parts of my abuse. It's kinda getting bad. I am thankfully someone else brought up this topic.

 

[janej32]

Lately I have been having violent body memories. I usually have them when in bed when I'm about to go to sleep.I usually end up shaking and crying until I fall asleep. After the most recent one I awoke feeling as if I actually had intercourse. Are body memories dealt with the same as flashbacks? I do not start therapy for another week so I have not learned any techniques to deal with these.

 

[healingangel90]

Hey Jane. Sorry to hear you're having to deal with that - I've been going through the same thing the past few days and I know how frustrating and difficult it can be. You can deal with body memories just as you do flashbacks. What Nyx posted above is a good way to ground yourself. Here are a couple other suggestions:

Try focusing on your breathing: One exercise that helps me is to take a deep breath in through your nose, and out through your mouth slowly. Count to 3 inhaling, and count to 3 exhaling.

I also find that playing some music while I try to fall asleep helps keep me distracted. If you like music and can play it while you sleep, try to put together some songs that soothe you and do your best to keep your focus on the songs.

And one important thing my therapist told me to do (not that I've done it yet lol!) is to get up and ground yourself if you are having body memories. Instead of sitting there with those feelings, try to get up, turn on a light, and do something relaxing for a little bit before you try to sleep again.

I know that these can be a lot easier said than done, and they may not work all the time. Keep trying and you'll figure out what works best for you. :) I'm really glad to hear you'll be starting therapy next week. Good luck! Let us know how things go. Hope things start to get better for you. Hang in there <3

 

[janej32]

Thank you so much for your suggestions, hopefully one of these work for me. However some of these won't as I already have to sleep with the lights on and most music triggers me :( thank you so much for your words!

 

[Lucycat]

If music is a trigger have you considered other sounds? I used to go to sleep to the sounds of the ocean, but there are others available such as bird song or rainfall. I found them on itunes under relaxation. The 'natural' sounds certainly helped me when I had trouble getting to sleep, and I found it easier with these as I tended to actively listen to music.

 

[janej32]

Hmmm that sounds like it could work. I will try listening to some nature sounds, thanks so much!

 

[healingangel90]

Hope some of this works for you Jane :) I'm sure once you start therapy, your therapist will also have a lot of ideas of things that may help.