Flashedback Hard

[BlackbirdSinging]

Yesterday I had one of the worse flashbacks I have ever had. I'm talking visual and emotional. On the bonus side I was kind of warned by anxiety. I'm usually not able to recognize when a flashback is starting. I was having a conversation with a friend online and something in the conversation triggered my anxiety. I'm not sure what it was exactly.

I tried taking a homeopathic stress aid and the next thing I knew I was clutching my pillow to my chest and sobbing to the point that I couldn't breathe. I got an incredibly intense sense of fear and doom. I shook and felt like I was going through it right then and there. Again. I could see memories popping up in a flashing before my eyes kind of way. I was pleading for it and the abuse to stop.

I'm not sure how long this lasted but I don't think it was very long. I was emotionally and physically exhausted when I finally calmed down. Has anyone else ever had a flashback where they experienced both visual and emotional? How did you handle it? How do you handle any really intense flashbacks? I'm definitely going to discuss this with my therapist this week. Especially considering I ended up having a dream about that abuser when I went to sleep last night.

 

[MercyNeeded]

This is exactly what a "flashback" is, apparently: visual and visceral (as if a "movie" is playing in your mind and your body is responding). I never had a clue about this but I know a lot more now than I ever wanted to know. I find myself screaming "silently", clutching my head and whispering "STOP, STOP, STOP!" I discussed it with my psychiatrist (imagine, I have a psychiatrist now! omg) and of course he prescribed something. It helped so much at first but I'm having a reaction to it and think I need to stop. Plus, it isn't working that well any more. I'm thinking this is something I have to suffer from until this "phase" passes and I'm worried it will never pass. I have begun to pray when it begins and so far that has helped me. If your therapist has any good ideas that you find work for you, please share. I will discuss this with my therapist next Monday and see what she suggests.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. Today has been up and down for me. And the down had me calling my therapist because I was so overwhelmed I felt like cutting again.

I saw my therapist yesterday. I told her about my flashback. She said she didn't think it was a bad thing because she said it was coming up to be healed. Um. Maybe so but it was awful.

And I'm tense because it wasn't the first one and I know it's not going to be the last one. Fantastic. Because the trauma wasn't bad enough. I need to relive it in flashbacks too.

I'm dreading the others because like the ones before them they'll be bad. This one was horrible though. I'll pass on any helpful information I get from my therapist though for sure.

 

[sc39]

Sometimes it helps me if I re-connect with what is happening around me in the room that I am in. Even noticing small things like the feeling of my feet on the ground, the chair beneath my weight and the colours of the room. I tell myself "You are safe now, it's all over". Sometimes it works better than other times. Some therapists have said to build a safety kit- put in something like a soft blanket to wrap yourself in, a journal to write in or drawing book, good music that re-centers you, a prayer. things that keep you in the 'now' feeling safe.

i sometimes use a nail brush to brush my arms. sounds weird but the sensory effect is soothing.[DOUBLEPOST=1366250116][/DOUBLEPOST]I used to have lots of flashbacks. Now, not so much.