Flunking At Hiding

[ClairBear226]

My husband noticed. He asked me this morning about a tell tale sign of my flashbacks, and now after hiding it for weeks, I've been "outed". He was gentle and kind, and said all the right things. But he has a hard time watching me go through this, and I had rather hoped I could keep it under wraps for now, and not drag him down with me.

I don't like feeling weak, and now suddenly I do. I don't want to be the psycho nutjob wife. I want to be the tough, independant, funny chick that I am on a good day. **sigh** In case we haven't all had this point made abundantly clear, I'll restate the obvious. PTSD just sucks.

 

[Heather]

Yes, PTSD Sucks A$$. Hang in. You need support and it sounds like you have it:). Take care of yourself the best way you know how and pretty soon

the tough, independant, funny chick that I am on a good day..

Will once again be making an appearance.

Now is the time to be taking care of you!

With love and much Hugs. Heather

 

[seedling]

I am working on trying to figure out how to not hide right now, something I am not good at. My most basic life long instincts are to hide myself away and deal with everything all on my own. This is what really sucks for me, because with PTSD this part is even scarier and harder than it would have been when I was "normal."

Maybe, since your husband sees, you both will get comfortable dealing with it together. You have a precious man there who really loves you. You can see it as an opportunity not to hide everything and that it doesn't mean you are the "psycho nutjob wife." With his support through the hard times maybe you can have more of those good days.

Take care, hope you both weather those bad days.

 

[ClairBear226]

I guess what I do is hide in plain sight, if that makes any sense. It's not like I'm shy and quiet. I'm actually fairly outgoing, considering. But when I feel like hell, I still want to keep up the chipper, happy facade whether it's what I'm really feeling or not.

Seedling, I really am lucky to have someone to stand by my side. We've been together for 18 years now, and he's been with me every step of the way. I just hate that I keep putting him through it too.