Dom Violence Flying Monkeys - People Who Believe The Lies

Sideways

Moderator
I had a pdoc align with my parents.

I moved on. It was messy, it hurt a lot. But it's behind me.

Fact is, I can't stop other people buying into their BS. I can hope that people accept me as I am, based on their lived experience with me, rather than the phoney crap that spills out from my parents mouths. But people are free to believe what they want - even when it's BS.

It's very sad when people buy into it. But there is nothing I can do about it once they have. I will no longer fight to retain the people that want to play into siding with my parents. They make their choice, and my choice is to disengage from the nastiness and toxicity. It is sad, but it's less costly than the hopeless fight to persuade them of something that they don't want to believe.
 

andreeab

New Here
It will help if you bring them down in your own mind. I usually call them "sheep" because they are herded by the narcissist and made into props, tools that the narc uses. I literally humiliate them in my own mind by revealing how they are self projecting their own flaws and unconscious hang-ups unto me. You have to be an investigator or psychoanalyst of sorts. Then you don't have to endure the feeling of being overpowered and therefore being retraumatized over and over again. The feeling of having power is the key to bypassing trauma in this situations. Read books, watch movies with characters that are indolent, rugged and rebellious to learn how to do that, because I had to learn the attitude from others. I used to be a doormat. Now I am still being bothered by Flying Monkeys but I found the key to overcoming it: iconoclasm. Give them a taste of their own medicine, bash their image, mock them, force them to see what they are.. You can get a little bit narcissistic, and they may use that against you but anything trumps being retraumatized. And reaching the point when you are in physical pain from the constant abuse is not a good, you'd rather be a narcissist for a little while until it's over. By the way, there is such a thing as healthy narcissism.
 
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