Frustrated With Psychiatrist

[EarthToSamantha]

On Wednesday I had an appointment with my psychiatrist, and I was sooo ready to go see him since I've been struggling. Like any psychiatrist, he asked me how I've been doing and for once, I opened up and spilled my guts telling him that I don't sleep through the night, I'm anxious all the time, I have flashbacks all the time, I used to shower everyday and now I just shower twice a week because there's nothing worth doing so for, I hate getting out of bed, I have sleep disturbances every time I do sleep, a day that I don't break down in tears is considered a good day, I don't have a social life like I used to...I said I needed help (which is not a common occurrence). I also told him that my meds obviously aren't doing what they should.

Instead of trying to figure out another plan with me, my psychiatrist told me that I should "try to socialize more and think more positive thoughts". As if I haven't tried that! If I could manage that, I wouldn't have been feeling this way for two months!

I have thought about going back to counseling, but I don't think there's much for them to do. I don't have a concrete reason for feeling this way. Yes, I'm stressed about hearing back from grad schools, and I don't have a job at the moment because I was laid off...but that's it. There's nothing I can't do except wait and apply for jobs. Counseling wouldn't help me that much. A lot of this is physical.

Trust me, I'm not a fan of med changes AT ALL, but if I tell him that my meds aren't doing anything, I feel he should've at least suggested another route, instead of giving advice I could have gotten for free from someone who has no idea what they're talking about. He's been my psychiatrist since I was 16, and I'm 23 now...he should know better.

If I hear back from a grad school saying that I've been accepted and I still don't feel better, I'm going back and demanding he help me. I don't want to feel like this anymore.

Sorry this is so long, I just needed to vent.

 

[mamachick]

I am sorry that you have had this experience. I have had the same thing happen to me during the worst time. Mine upped the bad meds and I got worse a couple of times first. This is the only time I have fired a Dr. and I have had many specialists. It is the feeling of just leaving you out there hanging.

I know that during the worst times it is not helpful for others to tell you to think more positive. That is because our reality distorted from ptsd. It is hard to even consider. That is why sometimes therapy does work, but of course that depends on the individual and your own personal resources. Sometimes I feel too tired to talk but muster it up. The trusting relationship is helpful in itself. I have no personal baggage with therapist so I think I am more open to suggestions.

I also read a good quote today that I want to repeat daily. Maybe it will help you too.
If you dont like something, change it, if you cant change it, change your attitude....Maya Angelou

Im sure not saying it is easy, but we are in control of our thinking and attitude, and that will eventually change our emotions. Hope you are able to give it a try

 

[TLight]

Brat. I know our minds are distorted with this brain injury. And yes,I think it's somewhat useless to 'think postive' and have a good attitude and all this is going to somehow miraculously get better. I suffered for years without meds and did everything in my toolbox, meditation, yoga, exercise, surrounding myself with the positive.....yet still, with stress brings symptoms. I'm not saying these things don't help, they do. However, the power of the chemical imbalance is significant. She knew that she needed more tools and he didn't hear her. I'd be angry.
For myself, I get tired of being told, 'change your vibrational output', 'examine your thoughts'...etc. When insomnia is running rampage, flashbacks and emotional dysregulation destroying our health, and physical exhaustion taking us down, we need something else. Ptsd can be to powerful at times.

She there, she knows it, and her provider (it seems to me) just sort of brushed her off and invalidatd her.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Sorry you're dealing with a less than stellar psychiatrist! Good ones are worth their weight in gold. I've various psychiatrists since the age of ten. Only one is excellent (my current doctor), and another I'd rate as very good. It's sad, really.

Is finding a new doctor a possibility?

Grad school is demanding. I urge you to work on your healing before going to school. I get the feeling that you want the meds to fix you, perhaps more than possible. (I'm not minimizing your dissatisfaction with your non-helpful doctor). The truth is that PTSD is both physical and mental. Meds can only help so far, and we've got to do the rest.

I wish you the best.

 

[Pencil]

I'd be angry.

I agree. I like your post a lot, TLight.

 

[LhasaLover]

Sorry you're dealing with a less than stellar psychiatrist! Good ones are worth their weight in gold. I've various psychiatrists since the age of ten. Only one is excellent (my current doctor), and another I'd rate as very good. It's sad, really.

Therapists can have very different styles. I really prefer female therapists that are more sensitive. There's a therapist I go to with my father and he is very helpful sometimes but when I leave, I have an anxiety attack.

I also talked to another therapist this year and the road was a bit bumpy. When I described the roadblocks I was hitting with them, I learned she knew a lot more about PTSD. More specifically, there are certain things that she finds logical for not to do with a patient with PTSD. When I leave her office, I feel peaceful, stronger and inspired. The other day I left the therapist's office who I got with my father and had an anxiety attack. Full on unpleasant attack during which I lost my meds and had to go the Emergency Room.

I have to say there is a lot of wisdom in Scared of Lonely's post. As I say, it's my mind you are visiting... tread carefully!!

Good luck, saying my prayers for you that this gets sorted out!

LL

 

[mamachick]

Tlight-could not agree more, so what do you suggest for her? Since we are all clear on the effects of ptsd and how unhelpful some psychiatrists may be, there are always other choices.

I agree with much of your comment, although I do not believe it is ever useless to think positive. While the symptoms often over-power our thinking, if we practice positive thinking everyday, eventually a bit does get through. There is hope with knowing that we can progress. I do understand your frustration with others advice as well. There are times that I get frustrated with hearing words of good intent from those who have not experienced.

My intent was not to negate or invalidate her anger as she has every right to her anger. I thought that I expressed that when I stated that I fired a psychiatrist who had me on the wrong meds. I guess I did not specifically mention that I was angry too. Anger can be a driving force to make change for those with or without ptsd. Therefore, I even try to find the good in my anger, it is usually an indicator for me to make a change, either physically or in expectations and acceptance.

Those of us with ptsd have enough symptoms without self inflicting unreasonable expectations on ourselves. If something makes you miserable and you can change it-do so, if you cant, then figure out how to live with the circumstances.

Where I live, one can not change psychiatrists, so I chose to have none than the lousiest one in town. Changing psychiatrists may be an option, but there is almost always something that we can change that will help, and when we cant, then change attitude.

SOL mentioned reconsidering plans for grad school. Good advice. While the quote I used was about attitude, attitude comes from thoughts-basically the same.

Some need medication to survive. I discovered that the last meds I was on was actually causing much of the insomnia, and I was awake until 6 am. I may have to try another, but working closely with my T, she agree's I need to stay status quo for now. I think it is very individual, but Anthony had a good video from psychiatrist and pharmaceutical sales rep explaining how meds actually cause some brain damage from chemical change. (cant remember how to find). Also, the suicide rate in the US is exactly as it was 40 yrs ago, before all this medication. If it helps, by all means take it. If we think there is a magic pill-we are fooling ourselves.

 

[piratelady]

try to socialize more and think more positive thoughts"

Honestly, I think there is merit to what your psychiatrist has said. Here is the quote from the forum when you are not logged in:

Depression and trauma are disconnective disorders. They do not improve in isolation. To fix them you have to be connected to others.

As difficult as it is, when we are suffering PTSD symptoms or are depressed we want nothing more than to stay in bed and shut the world out. I know that, I've been there. The problem though, is that only strengthens the hold your symptoms have on you. Despite how difficult it is, you have to find ways to get out of the house, see people...socialize. It truly does make a difference and can help the symptoms to subside. I am not saying that it the be-all-end-all answer to your symptoms, but it is worth trying.

 

[LhasaLover]

I know I am a social being, as soon as I get out I am like a duck in water. The only time I feel really trapped is when I am in a social gathering at some's place and the social dynamics are weird, then I just leave!

Engaging on this forum has helped my symptoms a lot I have noticed. I am far more articulate than I ever have been about my condition. In additional, the social nature of this forum is a wonderful outlet which helps me keep things in perspective and not fall as easily prey to panic and anxiety.

PTSD is quite complicated I am discovering and it takes a lot of tenacity and support to get through the worst moments with this disorder. Hanging in there is sometimes the best advice, because what used to work for you is now working against you. It takes time to re-train our brain and re-wire our somatic reactions.

One of my dear friends asked me once during a panic attack (I don't think we knew that is what it was at the time).... "What does a dog do when it was wounded?" I replied, "It runs away?" After a few failed answers, he replied, "The dog goes and licks their wounds". Eureka, lowering my tolerance to pain is another thing I have had to learn.

I do not think going to another therapist and changing styles is at all negative. I've learned from each and every therapist in my life! However, there were a couple therapists that did not last long! The point is there has to be a connection between you and your therapist(s). Not everyone loves my therapist, she does not give homework (some people want some). I find my therapist is incredible for the 40 minutes I spend with her consistently. In the past, I did go to a therapist who gave homework, and I learned a lot from her. If you are feeling stuck, sometimes a new perspective is extremely helpful.

Here is a great quote about attitude I was given when I quitting smoking from a tobacco cessation counselor... personally I find it very inspiring:
“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.”- Charles R. Swindoll (American Writer and Clergyman, b.1934)

Hope others find it motivational and not too "Pollyana"!

LL

 

[Hashi]

I have found with depression that there can be a point where trying to socialise and be more positive are counter-productive. Even if he thought they were the answer, I think your psychiatrist should have explored with you what the issues were and talked them through. Like you mention, I would have expected him to help you come up with a plan. I wouldn't consider what he said to be a plan, I would take it as dismissing my problems.

What I would really have expected would have been to talk about your anxiety. Not just reviewing meds but also reviewing your strategies for reducing/managing anxiety.

I'm not sure what you mean when you say a lot of this is physical. Do you mean brain chemistry, and therefore you see meds as the best answer? If so, there are other things you can do to change your brain chemistry, like breathing and relaxation exercises - the better the techniques you use for these, the more they can help with depression and anxiety (speaking from my own experience). Or do you mean the effects of a physical condition? If so, the emotional effects can also be addressed to some extent?

I also think a more structured routine, eg shower every day, although difficult, can sometimes help. I actually think there are a number of things the right counsellor could support you with (some specialise in anxiety issues). However, that's just my opinion and you may not agree.

I hope things improve for you soon.

 

[LhasaLover]

Hashi is really on-point with this post in my humble opinion.

 

[mamachick]

I like all of your comments. I think they all have merit. There are many things that change brain chemistry for the good and the bad. Alcohol is a depressant, exercise changes chemistry for the good. What we eat, who we listen to, what we watch on tv all can effect are brain chemistry.

If and when someone is in that place of severe depression, tell them to get out and socialize or exercise is like telling a true quadropalegic to get out of their wheel chair and run a marathon. Where I live, psychiatrists only spend about 10 minutes with a patient, and it is for med adjustments only. When they ask how you are doing, they dont want even a paragraph let alone any history, they want one or two words. Some people definately need meds prescribed by a psychiatrist for different reasons. Some are able to get the needed meds from family doctor. I am fortunate enough to be at that place at the time. I still see a counselor to deal with symptoms and she is knowledgable regarding meds, but is more there for me to keep on the right track of healing now that I have gotten in the right direction. I know that certain things could put me in backward motion. So it is my job to pace myself and not become overwhelmed. It is her job to point out if she see's me screwing up.

I also agree 100% that happiness is about 10% of what happens to us and 90% attitude. I also read somewhere that success is 50% planning and hard work and 50% attitude. Having a good attitude is not something that will come easy for many, ptsd or not. We all have our own temperment and how we have learned to cope. Unlearning is an uphill battle and it gets harder to change the older we get-we have been doing what we do for that many years. Its not impossible though.

When I was younger, I use to think that someone had to be really smart to do certain things, such as graduate college or get a masters degree. Now I know that the person with average intellegence can accomplish quite easily if they have the right attitude. It a matter of being able to jump through the right hoops, follow instructions, work hard and be on top of things, etc.