Frustrated With The System

[soulsearcher]

For those that have read my post earlier this week, I am not handling my emotions and fears right now. Barely sleeping even with medication. I have tried everyday this week to talk to my T, but everyday no return call. I checked with secretary and yes the T is infact working. I have contacted crisis twice this week which I normally don't do but life is that bad for me right now. Crisis talks with me and gives coping strategies, and both times they told me to call and talk to my T. I feel so lost in my emotions and don't know what to do next.

Has anybody else been in this situation? Does anyone have advice?

I am about ready to call it quits to everything!

 

[franciemarnie]

I am sorry you are going thru such a rough time. I know the feeling of wanting to call it quits with everything, but the only thing I'd consider calling it quits with is with your T. What is their problem? Unprofessional at best.

But I don't know any details. I only know when people don't call me back, when I feel I am treated as if I don't exist or have little value in that person's universe, I reevaluate because that makes me go nuts!

 

[soulsearcher]

@ francismarnie. Thank you for listening and responding!!

I have an appointment this upcoming week with my T. I am battling with myself on whether I should go or not.

Unfortunately living in a rural community doesn't give me lots of choices and being a single mom of 3 makes it very hard to go elsewhere or the flexability to travel.

I honestly wonder why my T wants to trust her but in reality my T doesn't care about me. I'm just another client or number.

Maybe I am being selfish??

Well I have a couple of days to make a decision, I just hope it's the right one!!

 

[joeylittle]

My two cents (if you are looking for advice) is that you should go to the appointment, talk her through your week, especially this:

I feel so lost in my emotions and don't know what to do next.

When we are having trouble sleeping, everything gets so much more intense and difficult. You are looking for more support during the week, and I can imagine that being a single mom with 3 kids doesn't really give you anyone in your daily life that you can talk with. Perhaps the therapist can give you stronger coping strategies; perhaps she will clarify her contact policies.

Or, based on the conversation, you might discover that there is a disconnect between the two of you, like she doesn't "get it" or seems to be minimizing your feelings. That is usually a good indicator that you should try and switch, if you can. (In my opinion).

I'm very sorry you are struggling to make that connection. The right therapist is very important.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I'm sorry she isn't returning your calls. I agree you should go to the appointment, and if you can, ask her why she is not returning calls. Ask her her policy on emails. My T is open. If he is in the office, he will return my call as soon as he is able. I can also email him when I need to. I also use this forum a lot to work through my stuff. Since you are new, it might take a while before you are comfortable, but being a single mom of 3 kids seems stressful enough to me without adding PTSD.

Is there anyone who can watch your kids while you take a break? Are they school age? Do you work outside the home? I know a really good sleep would help, but that's when it seems hardest to sleep. Take care.

 

[soulsearcher]

@ joeylittle I appreciate any advice I receive. On this sight it's like you all understand and I don't feel like I talking a foreign language. So thank you!! You made very valid points.

@DharmaGirl I really don't have anyone to watch my kids. All 3 are young teenagers. Yes I work full time outside the home, work does have it good and bad points.
I agree I really need a good sleep and try to refocus. Hopefully after my next appointment I will have the tools to make life better or at least have control over my emotions, fears and anxiety.

 

[DharmaGirl]

Let us know what happens. What I forgot to add, is that when I am in crisis, I have called his answering service after hours and he returns my calls. He has 27 years experience in trauma, and knows that complex trauma patients need extra care sometimes. Granted, I have only called him twice, and both times I had OD'd. I just worry that I T that does not respond when crisis has you call, may not be the T you need.

I can take a while to learn to use the tools. I work really hard at therapy, and I still have overwhelming emotions. It really takes as long as it takes. I thought I would be done in 6 months, but no. I'm still plugging away.

 

[soulsearcher]

I went to my appointment with my T.

She explained she can't be there for me all the time and she was glad I reached out. She also asked if I felt I needed to be hospitalized again or can I still function with work and being a mother.

I think I will ask my doctor if there are other things available besides therapy and medication. I know I live in a small community but hoping there's more availability that I am not aware of.

It's funny how I can post on here but find it hard. to trust people around me!

Thank you for your support and advice!!