Frustrated

[Taylor30313]

I've heard what everyone has said and Im thankful for the time you have all taken.

It might help to have a little background. I was forced to move here to Florida. Because I was living with my parents and my situation was hostile at best. And it was showing in me. I was cutting and trying to take my own life.. It was just bad for reasons I wont get into here. So my aunt and uncle reached out to me. And I took the out-reached hand. But I was still wounded, despite the change in situation. So the introduced me to T. He is a friend of theirs through Rotary and maybe just in him knowing then made it inappropriate, but let me make it clear that he wasn't like coming to my/their house and drinking, etc kind of friend.. He was a friend from afar with his own circles... Now, with that said he was/is(?) a good person. He helps so many people, I honestly didn't know how he did it. I don't have insurance. And he counseled free of charge because he liked me and wanted to help me. So our set up was a little unique. He was my therapist but.... And that's super, that's great! He owes me nothing. Except I let myself trust him. And I gave him that power. And I just feel so stupid. When we would have sessions it was great. We could have meaningful conversations and I had someone to talk to. But from the beginning it was never set time wise. We'd meet and then a couple weeks later we'd be able to get together again. Then he'd be on a mission helping people in Brazil or some place and we'd meet a month later.

Then, my life got a lot worse. My dad became very ill from drinking his whole life and died a week later. A few months after that I would try to meet with T and he would be unavailable. After that he finally told me about his new job. That's when I thanked him for the time he'd gifted to me and basically said goodbye even though I was really crushed. His response was that he promised me we were in it for the long run and that it wasn't goodbye. But here we are and I haven't heard from him in months.

Thanks to the people who tried to help by saying I should get another therapist, but I cant afford one.

 

[GWhizz]

Hmmm that's a tricky one. Could you ask him outright if he feels the therapy is not able to continue because of his current commitments to his new job? Or whether he still believes he's in it for the longrun?

On the other hand, I just wonder if meeting so inconsistently was ever going to work. I don't know the therapy situation in the US or whether you have a job/any income. But I just found out here in Ireland, that there's actually a free national counselling service for victims of child abuse specifically. Of course I don't know your story/traumas. Though I'm just thinking, there are always other supports we may not know about and fees that can be negotiated in different services. Maybe you could ask him for that referral and to someone he may know that might be cost effective or at least be able to try to facilitate your current financial situation.

Remember, we're always here too when things get tough-going please reach out to us. I know it's not the same as one-on-one direct therapy, but it's better than ruminating alone.

 

[scout86]

Sometimes, well intentioned people make promises they then find hard to keep, even if they want to. That could be what happened in this case. It doesn't sound like you made a mistake in trusting him, though. Nothing bad happened as a result of you trusting him, did it? You aren't seeing him at present, true, but that isn't the result of you trusting him. You trusted him, he was able to give you some help. That was a good thing, right?

I'm not sure what your situation is, but, in a lot of places, there are resources available, like @GWhizz says, if you can find them. If your relatives officially have custody, there might be something available through the county or state where you live. Or maybe through your school. Could you talk to them about it and see if they can help you find some more help?