Future Relationships Possible?

[sorcha]

This may be long...feel free to ignore.

I have a strange problem, I meet some men I like, talk via phone text etc..meet them and shake and run/drive away.

I solved this problem by stopping dating completely and scaring those men off! I was lonely on the 22nd visited facebook... I stumbled across an ex from 20 years ago and married an abusive horrid messed up man!

So I backtracked and told this nice ex, sorry wrong ex etc..He friend-ed me yesterday I have flirted with him for 2 days, he would like to meet for coffee and is happy to hear from me etc etc...

Any tips on this over nervousness, maybe I should just backtrack and be friend over Facebook. Not that I want to I like him but I shake a lot now.... just with men I don't know though. Has anyone else had this, my plan was no dating for a year, get help first but this man is here and like him, I don't men usually... very strange for me, they scare me they hurt people, well me anyway.

Apologies for typos,my fingers are slightly tipsy to block it all out and some Gin...ooops!

 

[99Phoenix99]

If you've already made the decision to not date, I'd suggest not to date. You already know what you need and don't need for the moment.

That's not to say don't go out and meet up. There's nothing wrong with catching up with someone. And if it does come up that you'd go on a date? You could always say "I'm not looking to date right now, but when I am I'll be sure to give you a call."

That's just my two cents.

Good luck!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I have to agree with Phoenix. I think she is very wise. Stick to your rules for yourself. Get yourself ok first. Take care of yourself and be safe. Best wishes on whatever you decide.

 

[Sailorgal]

I don't men usually... very strange for me, they scare me they hurt people, well me anyway.

Sorcha,
You already have doubts with yourself in being able to handle something no matter who HE is. Like Gizmo and 99Phoenix99 said, you made a commitment to yourself. Honor it because deep down you know what you are able to handle. It doesn't sound like you are really ready for anything other than a friendship.

Take it easy on yourself. You don't have to rush to "meet" someone. Just focus on building a friendship.

 

[sorcha]

Hi Sorry, thank you I should have came back again...I got a little lost and life and depression, I dated him, stupidly, no idea if I liked him, I did, but in strange way from years ago.., he liked me though, so I told him the next day I wanted to be friends... then cried for a few days and asked my Mitrazipine to be upped as I stopped sleeping.

I cannot date him, he has 2 aneurisms in his head, he needs the hospital for a dental appointment, I would be worried sick, all the time...

We had a fantastic catch up but that's it end off, no more feelings getting involved for now please, he hasn't taken this too great, u so I am unsure if he wants to be friends, he didn't answer that text....I won't be chasing him he is on my facebook as 'friend' he can stay there for now.

I didn't shake at all, possibly because I didn't stop talking and giggling so it was nice, I shall leave it at that. Also his ex started trying to stalk me on facebook.. I have 2 stalkers, I do not need anymore. All that in 6 days... no thank you, I like my safe boring life for now. I may also delete him from facebook though, his face confuses me daily and not in a good way....

I was in bed one night and was very angry as he hadn't texted me, I had to remove his number from my phone as I was going to say some horrid things, I still want to daily, I am just trying to have some self restraint, no idea why he is ignoring me for wanting to be friends... maybe he needs to grow up, even though he is younger than me.. It made me giggle later though, I cannot imagine having a normal argument with someone...OMG I get so angry it's embarrassing. I still have his number .... just not near me, strange man! Or maybe I am missing something, no idea, those guys make my head messy every time! :confused:

 

[sorcha]

Oh dear, this man is making my head a little messy again, he contacted me last night, calling me names... 'Darling'!??? He hasn't forgot me apparently, and did I remember the text I sent (telling him it was a lovely night,take care - i.e. thank you - bye bye)

I remember, I do like this man but he confuses the life out of me men do that to me, I do not know when to text back, there are rule these days...it's bizarre. I did answer him, jokingly and said I had deleted the text but hoped it was a good one? No idea why I answered with that.....

I will no doubt see if he gets in touch again. Keep him as a friend. A Confusing name calling one. :rolleyes:

 

[Phenioxrising]

I find it easier to not put any labels on anyone. You can ask to stay friends, and meet for coffee or lunch. It sounds as if he honestly likes you. Whatever you decide make sure you stick by it. Don't let others make you feel like their controling you.

With the stalkers, I'd go to the cops, and fill out some restraining orders. IMO

 

[99Phoenix99]

I do not know when to text back, there are rule these days...it's bizarre

I never believed in the "rules". If you want to talk to someone just talk to them. The whole playing coy game just seems like a headache and entirely unrealistic.

Darling could be a pet name? I wouldn't drive yoursef too crazy over that. I give people pet names all the time. It's just part of my personality.

Either way enjoy yourself! It's always nice to welcome someone into your life.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

I would say...get busy with LIFE. Don't worry about a man, concentrate on YOU! I was married 4 times before I realized, that I PICK them wrong. The best thing to do, is keep occupied with your life, do the things you like to do, and IF someone comes along, don't label anything as 'dating'. (Not sure if 'dating' to you is just 'going out together' or having sex).

If it's having sex, it's happening WAY too soon. Sex interrupts the normal flow of a 'friendship' that COULD grow into more.

I prefer being single and lonely now and then, to being unhappily dating or being married to someone who is not the 'right' man. I want a man who loves me for me....ALL of me. Someone who can live without me, but doesn't want to.

Looking for a man is the best way to find the WRONG man.

Good luck!

 

[dms]

My CPTSD friend just told me once again to "stop texting here" and that "he has somebody else" not sure if it's true or ptsd but I can't take anymore pain or rejection. I'm moved ON and going off the site to heal without the PTSD reminders. I sincerely thank everybody for all your help. I'm hurting but I have to get away from anything related to PTSD. Goodbye

 

[Sailorgal]

Oh dms,

I'm sorry you have been rejected. It's painful being shut out. I don't know your story but I wish you healing. The forum will be here if you need. All the best to you.