Gagging Instead Of Crying — Anyone Else?

[sss]

Hello. I have recently being doing a lot of work to get in touch with my emotions, which are buried very deep on account of how painful they are.

Currently, when I practice any sort of meditation or when I write in my journal about my feelings, I almost always get to the point where I feel a lump rising in my throat, but then it gets stuck, and it is extremely uncomfortable, and then I will almost invariably gag. It is a violent gag that hurts and makes my eyes water. Twice, I have even vomited while doing body scan meditations (usually I do not vomit, but it has happened twice). As for crying... I could count the times I've cried in the past ten years on one hand (which is funny, because as a kid, before my traumatic adolescence, I was very emotional).

Anyway, this gagging thing is horrible and frustrating. Has anybody else experienced this? I feel like I have to just keep sitting there with the discomfort and letting it get slowly closer to the surface — but I get scared that I'm going to be feeling like this for years......

 

[InsideAWord]

I've experienced the gagging, and yes it's extremely uncomfortable and embarrassing when it occurs in public. Typically, the gagging results in vomiting after full escalation and usually accompanies an involuntary groan or sigh.

Sometimes, my gagging regresses into yawning, which interestingly is also a sign of stress in dogs.

 

[GingerAli]

I practice mindfulness meditation, and generally my focus is not on emotions. I am curious what type you are practicing? I have been told though that people when they are getting more into meditation can have a sort of "detox" and some surprising emotions can come out. (If you are able to note them, and redirect your focus on another part of your body, that may help) I have not been to that point, I do twitch quite a bit, which my counselor has told me is from my body being uptight all the time. But I can't recall ever experiencing overwhelming emotions.

As for the lump in the throat, I would imagine what may be happening for you is that your body is trying to suppress and physically cope with what is coming up. You may benefit from speaking to someone with more experience on meditation to learn how to deal with this.

I too have buried my emotions for a long time, and can pretty much count on one hand the number of times I have cried. It's interesting because I was also a emotional child, so we seem to have that in common. I hope you are able to get past this hurdle. Meditation has been very beneficial for me and I hope you find the same.

 

[franciemarnie]

I too didn't cry for years. I don't get gagging, but I get extreme nausea sometimes when I am deeply sad and need to cry but can't. A few times I would have one to two week periods of feeling physically just on the verge of crying but never having the release. It was deeply uncomfortable, but always passed.

As long as I've continued trying to heal and haven't buried my feelings with drugs and alcohol and other numbing activities, my feelings are doing their best to make it out.

I buried emotion for decades. It stands to reason they didn't and sometimes still don't flow out easy as a stream going down a mountain. I set up so many blockages, they're probably like - how the hell do we get out of this place? Mindful meditation of my body sensation helps.

Music helps me soften them up and release too. But sometimes not and I just have to feel the discomfort. I prefer it to the numb years. It find it gets easier. If I change, so do my insides.

 

[GingerAli]

I should add that for me I get extreme headaches when I feel the need to cry but cannot. Sometimes they are agonizing. I suppose our bodies all have different ways of trying to cope with our suppressed feelings.

 

[HOPEFULHEART82]

That's been happening to me recently. Not to the extent that I vomit (my stomach is very strong), but its so uncomfortable when I get the lump in my throat. It happens whenever it likes. I have no control over it. And it's worse when I'm stressed, which is anytime, (god forbid I have an argument or even a mild disagreement.) smh.

 

[The Albatross]

My mother has this happen, and had it happen again today. She had a full blown anxiety attack while at Urgent Care. I don't have this symptom.

 

[HOPEFULHEART82]

I went through the headaches stage (age 28), that was one of my earliest hurdles. I'm now (age 31) onto the insomnia part among others, even though I'm aware that we vacillate between the different stages, its ZERO comfort when you realize that you have to go through it yourself, alone. the way you werent meant to handle it ,i.e. when you were smaller, at the appropriate age to learn interpersonal relationship skills.