Getting Away From Bad Relationships.

[Intrepid]

Recently I went through some triggering arguments with the ex-wife. I felt myself freeze and go numb this whole last week. I hated it because I need to get a job, and I have school work to do. I could do some stuff, sure, but as the week went on I felt more and more locked up. It wasn't until yesterday that I realized how bad her self-pity affected me.

I really need to stay away from these toxic people. It started with my mom who drug me through her negativity to the point I needed to shut my feelings off for good. I can't, can't CAN'T fix these bad relationships.

So, now that I see this, I can start, AGAIN, to give up on bad relationships and stop freezing. It takes days. It’s not a total disaster. I had to drop a class, but other than that I'm clawing my way back, one teeny, tiny success at a time.

 

[Berserker14]

My overused saying (my family always rolls their eyes when I say it) is "one thing at a time". There are many days I only accomplish making one decision and then taking another day to act on it. Applauded yourself for every little accomplishment. Everyone has to start somewhere. It's been four years since I've talked to any of my blood relatives, but it took me about ten years to get to that point. I don't regret my decision at all. I'm better off without all their drama. Good luck to you!

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes I guess too I'm at the point of it likely being a deal breaker. The funny thing is, though we cannot change another's behaviour or thoughts towards us, we can remove ourself from a lack of basic respect or care. (Or worse, as it applies). Even if we don't feel deserving of that consideration or basic respect we do not lose because we are still removing ourselves from re-exposing ourself to more of the same. I figure too it removes the difficulty of 'myself' from them as well. So it's win-win, really, as for me (& possibly them as well), even if I don't have enough self-value it's become something to avoid. I actually do not feel it is appropriate to share with them, or explain, as if someone can't honor you they won't or can't honor your history, either. Either that or trust goes out the window. JMHO though.