Give Me All Your Tools For Anxiety

[OceanSpray]

I have some but I feel like there’s got to be more out there.

My particular issue is I have no idea how a thing can happen in a place (or almost happen) and people can move on during or right after without a thought. It’s like they don’t give the situation the gravitas it deserves. But I know that’s me and my anxiety talking.

Examples-

Last year there was a bomb threat at the high school I work at. Everyone was sent home that day, but that very next day we were all back in session like nothing happened. Because nothing actually happened.

This year we had a shooting threat and school carried on like there wasn’t anything to be concerned about. Sure they increased police presence and nothing actually happened. But it’s already out of everyone else’s mind. Not mine.

I started working a second job at a hotel recently. Apparently they fired someone right after they decided I’m sticking around and that person got angry enough to throw the managers coffee at the manager and have the police give him a warning to stay away from the premises. The entire night I sat there by myself watching the time tick away feeling like a sitting duck just waiting for him to come back and take his anger out on the person who replaced him. Nothing happened. I do have a phone constantly on me to call police. But I’m wary of the next few nights that I work there. I live in America where it’s not unheard of for disgruntled employees to open fire.

I can’t live like this and I want to know how other people make it look so damn easy.

 

[Friday]

1. Do things that haven’t happened usually trip you up more than things that have?

2. Is it universal? (Every intersection you see piles of twisted metal and bodies, every building a cratered hole, every crowd a mass casualty event, every person an 100 ways they could die/ be hurt/ hurt others, etc.) Or is it limited in certain ways, like in the examples you gave above, a person makes a threat they don’t carry out?

3. IF it’s limited, does that tie into your trauma history?

 

[Teasel]

CBT

I went through a couple 16 week courses. I came away from it thinking why do that to myself? ie going down those same rabbit holes over and over thinking about all tose th8ngs that made me so muserable. So when I noticed myself going down those rabbit holes I'd say oh I'm doing that again, I'll stop, I don't want to put myself through all that pain.

Course I could do with a top up again since then but, it did help.

 

[arfie]

I have no idea how a thing can happen in a place (or almost happen) and people can move on during or right after without a thought. It’s like they don’t give the situation the gravitas it deserves.

i typically have delayed emotional reactions to emergencies. i perform with calm and collected detachment while on the scene of the crisis, then fall to pieces later, typically with no witnesses present. i don't believe the delayed response is any less painful than standing in the midst of a crisis screaming like a banshee. can one give due gravitas without complicating an already complex crisis? there is extreme diversity in the ways people can respond to trauma, before, during and after.

 

[_-yeah_nah-_]

I have among other things, have severe anxiety.
Something I have found useful in my mission to manage this is a ces device.

CES Device therapy for Insomnia Stress Depression

Here is the drug free handheld CES device for treatment of anxiety, insomnia, and depression. Based on decades of research, this non-invasive Cranial Electrotherapy stimulator (CES) helps you fight both the sleepless nights, the overwhelming sadness and constant burden of stress, without the...

www.caremax.com.au

I was sceptical at first but willing to try anything, and I've been pleasantly surprised with this device. You don't actually need to use it that much but there is a noticeable difference in the physical anxiety pain when you do, I get alot of pain in my chest from anxiety with this with a combination of breathing/meditation exercises really helps manage.

 

[OceanSpray]

1. Do things that haven’t happened usually trip you up more than things that have?

Weirdly, yes. If a thing happens I can move on from it easier than the almost for some reason. For the most part anyway. It’s like there is a closure then.

Is it universal? (Every intersection you see piles of twisted metal and bodies, every building a cratered hole, every crowd a mass casualty event, every person an 100 ways they could die/ be hurt/ hurt others, etc.) Or is it limited in certain ways, like in the examples you gave above, a person makes a threat they don’t carry out?

Universal. If I don’t triple check that I’ve got my keys in hand or left the car door unlocked, panic starts creeping in at thought of being locked out (or my keys locked in). When driving, every curve and especially every bridge comes with fantasies or flashes of going over the barrier or rolling into the ditch. A motorcycle flies by and all I see is their body scattered across the road. At home at night I get intrusive thoughts that someone is going to come in and take an ax to me. The list goes on.

IF it’s limited, does that tie into your trauma history?

I do think my history does play a part. I was exposed to a lot of death very early and none of it was ever handled the way “normal” people would. As in the death would happen, I’d be a very young kid up close and personal with the death and everyone would move on like it’s another Tuesday. There would be no therapy or checking in to see how anyone is doing or even just a conversation about what happened. It was just expected that I would move on easily too. I’ve also been in a few car accidents where a lot of damage occurred to the vehicles but I would walk away each time with barely a scratch. Since I wouldn’t be hurt I would again be expected to be completely fine and I get that but I wouldn’t be. Each time repeats itself in my head over and over and the what ifs of if just one thing was different. There’s this constant feeling of tiptoeing on a wire just waiting for that one moment it all goes wrong.


Ironically, it has also bolstered a different thought. I’ve posted about it before but the idea that I’m invincible and have met my trauma quota. My brain is in this constant paralization that the really big bad is about to happen at any minute and then it’s like a part shoves itself into my brain saying no actually nothing will happen cause only so much can happen to a single person and I’m nothing special so why would I get more. But, then the anxiety takes right back over.

 

[Mach123]

I learned how to meditate and I’ve written that all out in my diary. It was a very long journey since my trauma began in pre school and things were never alright.

A few years back, being awake a lot at night, I dropped into it and I felt better. Basic pattern is right now I’m warm I’m dry I’m full I’m in bed. Can everything be ok just for now? Because in a very real way now is all there is. I know all that stuff will be there tomorrow, but can I just get a break? There’s no right or wrong way, But I always try and get rid of the negativity that’s so prevalent in my thinking.

It just worked and I became peaceful and I fell asleep and then I had something to chase or that I could practice. I’m much better at it now though there plenty of times I can’t do it. Just can’t focus enough.

But I had a few years in trauma therapy by then and when a person is severely depressed or having other really awful symptoms I don’t think this a viable option. As I’ve gotten better though and I have, I’ve used it more and more.

There’s a free book online called I am that. It’s all I ever looked at regarding this subject. I’m a Christian and the maharaj was a Hindu. They actually work well together. I probably wouldn’t recommend this to anyone from church.

 

[oh!theperspicacity]

When I can't calm myself down with paced breathing, I use a technique called the 'dive response.' You hold your breath and splash cold water on your face for a while, still holding your breath and it signals to the body to slow everything down. Google it, it might help.

 

[abovedown]

CBT

I went through a couple 16 week courses. I came away from it thinking why do that to myself? ie going down those same rabbit holes over and over thinking about all tose th8ngs that made me so muserable. So when I noticed myself going down those rabbit holes I'd say oh I'm doing that again, I'll stop, I don't want to put myself through all that pain.

Course I could do with a top up again since then but, it did help.

Did you through some online resources?

 

[abovedown]

I have some but I feel like there’s got to be more out there.

My particular issue is I have no idea how a thing can happen in a place (or almost happen) and people can move on during or right after without a thought. It’s like they don’t give the situation the gravitas it deserves. But I know that’s me and my anxiety talking.

Examples-

Last year there was a bomb threat at the high school I work at. Everyone was sent home that day, but that very next day we were all back in session like nothing happened. Because nothing actually happened.

This year we had a shooting threat and school carried on like there wasn’t anything to be concerned about. Sure they increased police presence and nothing actually happened. But it’s already out of everyone else’s mind. Not mine.

I started working a second job at a hotel recently. Apparently they fired someone right after they decided I’m sticking around and that person got angry enough to throw the managers coffee at the manager and have the police give him a warning to stay away from the premises. The entire night I sat there by myself watching the time tick away feeling like a sitting duck just waiting for him to come back and take his anger out on the person who replaced him. Nothing happened. I do have a phone constantly on me to call police. But I’m wary of the next few nights that I work there. I live in America where it’s not unheard of for disgruntled employees to open fire.

I can’t live like this and I want to know how other people make it look so damn easy.

I guess people continue their life as they really have no other alternative? Whether it is a bomb threat, terrorist attack, an accident, illness or war. Some are more traumatized than others but sun still rises next morning and sets every evening. Instinct to survive is well integrated in us: we have people depended on us, bills to pay and ultimately staying in a high anxious stage looks lots of resources which need for basic survival. I guess trauma is like when a part of you has been frozen into a state which is trying to escape or deny something that already happened (sometimes decades ago). Sometimes the trauma feels like piece of amber which holds a fossilized incect in it. Frozen and solid captured in a moment of time.

 

[Teasel]

@abovedown no it was on the NHS
I should think there are online resources though.