Going Backwards?

[Martin Taylor]

So here I was progressing nicely and all of a sudden the nightmares are back, I'm feeling highly stressed, I'm not sleeping well, and I want to cry. Strange thing is that my life has had no significant change from last week, everyone in my life is healthy, and I've found no new triggers. My EMDR sessions are getting darker, also. Why would I be going backwards? Anyone have any experience with that? Thanks in advance

 

[Jami Youngblood]

Sometimes we get worse before we get better. I know when I was in treatment I was forced to remember things I had not thought of for years. Go slow, be good to yourself.

 

[ronin47]

Probably the EMDR sessions. Dreams are often manifestations of inner thoughts and feelings that, by will or nill, are suppressed during the day. When we sleep those inhibitions come undone, especially if we've been working on doing so during the day. They are very painful and frightening, but they are just dreams. Keep reminding yourself of that.

 

[Martin Taylor]

Thanks, it seems to be a two steps forward, one step back kind of thing. I'm just having a rough couple of weeks.

 

[Tabula-Rasa]

My therapy, over the last several months, is making some VERY bad things come close to the surface and spill out into every day life. I KNOW I'm going in the right direction, but, I'm suddenly NOT dealing just with 22 year old memories. Suddenly I'm dealing with rage, anger, HUGE grief and remorse, memories and GAPS in memories. NOW, it's under the surface and I'm thankful for my GF for being understanding.

The only thing that keeps me going forward is to THINK about what PTSD IS: A conflict between the part of you that wants to forget and the part that HAS to remember.

Yeah, bringing your sh*t up to the surface and dealing with it... is going to (1) hurt, (2) affect your every day life, (3) hurt some more. :D

Every piece of progress is going to come with some steps back. Again, THINK about it: YOUR progress is a direct threat to that part of your brain that is trying to protect you in a very bad way. It's going to redouble efforts. ;)

Just... stop thinking of it as steps "forward" and steps "back." Stop thinking about successes and failures. It's not about that.

You SUFFERED something and, for some reason, your mind will NOT let go of it. Your mind was ALSO remapped, physically. I'm trying to beat it by going TOWARD the fear, but that's not always the best thing, either.

:D Pretty complicated.

All I can say is this: If you feel like you're going two steps back and things are getting worse, then you're probably going in the right direction.

It HURTS. It messes up your life. It's the right direction. We're all here and you have a place of safety.