Gonna Be Blunt

[Gs172003]

How do I stop being a bitch to my husband? I don't mean to but I get so danged mad so quick.

 

[Abstract]

How about doing an anger management course? It is possible to change our relationships and control of fight and flight.

 

[Friday]

Short Answer : Stop. Literally. Each and every single time you start, stop. Walk away. Take a timeout & cool off if you're het up or can't shift gears and control yourself on the fly; or back up and rephrase what you were just starting to say in a nasty tone of voice in a nice one, or with f*cked up phraseology using different words if you do have self control.

Long Answer : Dealing With Anger

 

[Gs172003]

I'm going to counseling and we are going to start counseling as a couple. Most of the time I'm not even sure who it is I'm being so hateful at. Him...or the one before him.

It comes so danged quick out of my mouth. I'll try the rephrasing thing. Thank you.

 

[BlueDream]

Great answer @Friday!! I'm gonna keep some of those helpful hints.....
Maybe read up on some anger management myself.

Good luck @missy meier i know you can do it, you have all ready taken the first step :)

 

[Gs172003]

Thanks. I ordered the book the post traumatic stress disorder relationship for him and I'm reading it. It's helpful for me to understand what I'm doing wrong.

 

[Abstract]

This is just me but personally I would do an anger management course first. This type of thing is terribly destructive to relationships and couples therapy and working on it ourselves takes time. I would want to get a jump start and make some personal changes and progress as quickly as possible. And then continue the good work via the other 2 routes. They usually help you very practically in finding ways to step back and bring things down a notch or two before responding.

Its great and courageous you are looking at this. :)

 

[Gs172003]

I have told my therapist and she thinks that working through this stuff will help greatly. Im new to trauma therapy so hopefully doing that work will help alot.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@missy meier I SO get what you are talking about. I used to be that way too. Had no filter from Brain to Lips. It was just there and it came out and whoever was in my way, got it. I was such a nasty miserable bitch....

Working on your trauma will help you tremendously. I will say though... In hindsight I was wrong. My behavior was wrong. Everything about my temper was wrong. I didn't know I had PTSD, I just figured I was crazy with everything that was in my head and what I was experiencing. Wasn't till yrs later I found out I had PTSD, and then I did some serious therapy. But the damage had already been done by then....

So do whatever else you need to do to get your temper under control..... Just my opinion....

 

[Gs172003]

@missy meier I SO get what you are talking about. I used to be that way too. Had n...

That is EXACTLY my problem. I didn't know. Thing is, my husband and I have had major problems of our own we are also trying to work through. Now that I DO know I know what to watch out for. My husband is trying to be patient with me. Thank God for that.