Good idea or bad idea?

[ShodokanJenn]

I think the whistle would be a bad move. He's already feeling defensive and exasperated. Adding in a whistle would just inflame those things. If someone did that to me, I'd also feel dehumanized. Whistles are used to train dogs...

My husband has ADHD and sometimes he gets very loud and his speech gets rapid and disorganized. Early on in our relationship, we discussed this together and agreed on an unobtrusive hand signal to use when it's happening. Originally, it was for use in public. But over the years, it's evolved into a cue for him to take a deep breath and tone things down a notch, and consider what he's actually trying to say. A signal about communication/actions works best when it's discussed by and agreed upon by all parties involved.

There are deeper issues going on here, well beyond the scope of simply blowing a whistle. I really hope the two of you are able to find a way to work through this.

 

[Sideways]

Over time, I think I've seen huge amounts of progress in the way you guys communicate witth each other. What he's said recently? Isn't great, but I've gotta say - it does sound like he's been trying. And to me? That might be worth rewarding? Idk, but it does sound like your relationship has come a long way from, say, 6 months ago when he had you in tears just because you asked him for a hug. And if he's trying? It's because he does care.