Got My Psychiatrist Appointment, But Seeing Red Over The Way, They Handled My File

[therisa]

In today’s mail, I got a letter from my doctor’s office, telling me, when they have scheduled my first meeting with a psychiatrist, on December 4, 2013, at 9:30am. I should be doing cartwheels, all over the place, but instead, I trying to hold back my anger, over several things, which the letter has ignited. For I feel like, they are disrespecting me, with the way that they have addressed the letter, to me. Choosing to use, the male form of addressing me, as “Mr”, when I have it noted on my medical files, I am to be addressed, as “Ms.” and it’s “Therisa” and not“T____y”, which is still my legal name, this, coming from an institution that claims to respect the rights of its patients.

The second thing, which has me, hopping mad, is the time of the appointment, 9:30 am. In order, for me, to keep this appointment time, I have to travel across the city, during the morning rush hour traffic. A perfect recipe, if the psychiatrist want to witness me, having a full blown panic attack, thus ruining any chance of him, conducting any type of true assessment of me, costing me, two transit tokens, on a wasted trip, to see him.

I would phone the appointment confirmation number, today, but I would lose it, on the person, at the other end of the phone. Instead, I am giving myself, the weekend, to cool down, before calling the number provided to me, and try to reschedule it, to a more suitable time, for me. While showing the letter and envelope, to my nurse practitioner, when I see her, on September 23rd and demand changes, to the office’s policy, when dealing with a trans patient.

This is the second strike for this organization, as my first assessment was done by a transphobic psychiatrist, in the fall of 2007. And this letter is the second one. They get only one more chance, before I pull my entire file from them.

 

[franciemarnie]

Good idea to cool down over the weekend. I have learned to do that too when I respond to something like that.

About the way they addressed the envelope - I definitely understand this is a volatile issue. It could also be that whatever administrative member did it - did it by mistake, in a hurry and not in an intentional way. Whenever I rush to do something, I make mistakes. They may not be clued into your file, which the doctor should keep private.

I agree the doctor should have made a note, but it could be a simple human mistake. Often when I get angry at something like that, I discover the circumstances were the result of simple human error. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, never with the intention to do so.

I hope you feel better this weekend and it's cleared up Monday. And I hope you can get another appointment time!

 

[therisa]

Sadly, Franciemarnie, the addressing of the envelope is another way, which society hasn't fully accepted a pre-op transperson, for all my documents, except the driver licence, won't change, until I have some form of gender reassignment surgery. Even if, I had change my legal name, this problem will still exist for me. As for the appointment time, there is no way, I will be keeping that 9:30am appointment. Even if, this means, having to wait another month or two, for another opening.

 

[Kintsugi]

I am really sorry that you have had to deal with these issues, Therisa.

Sadly, Franciemarnie, the addressing of the envelope is another way, which society hasn't fully accepted a pre-op transperson, for all my documents, except the driver licence, won't change, until I have some form of gender reassignment surgery. Even if, I had change my legal name, this problem will still exist for me. As for the appointment time, there is no way, I will be keeping that 9:30am appointment. Even if, this means, having to wait another month or two, for another opening.

I see you're from Ontario. I don't know what it's like in Canada, but I do know that there are places, at least that I've been to here in the US, that would not treat you this way. I actually thought in the city I lived in recently that it had become almost cumbersome to constantly be filling out "you are: m___ f ___" "You would identify as..." And "given name," "Like to be called," though I know, as your situation highlights, this is a very important step in culture and of integral importance to many people. Gender neutral pronouns were huge as well at my school and a big deal to get right in any position of authority ever. As a tutor, we had really rigorous training for this and were expected to use ze and hir appropriately.

Just letting you know... There are people and places, though few and far, that recognize and validate this as a real issue.

 

[therisa]

MissAntiSunshine, each province and territory has a difference policy, in regards, to the way, they treat their transcommunity. Sadly, many Latin American countries are more advance, in their trans policy than Canada and the United States are.

As for mental health system, the transcommunity is often discriminated, when seeking help from the system, whether it's by transphobic medical staff, or being on social assistance, which means to fight your way, through an additional layer of bureaucratic red tape that other people don't have to deal with. Another little talked about fact is, too many transpeople are suffering from abuse by a family member, whether sexual, physical or psychological. But that's another posting for another time.

As gender neutral language, I think its political correctness gone crazy. I have no problem with her or his. Rather, it's the way that they are used, which I have a problem, when a person, identify themselves, as a transmale or transfemale.

 

[ronin47]

Good for you. Smart choice to take some time to chill out before you decide how to respond to this. Sorry to be blunt but while those things are irritating they are nowhere near worth having a total meltdown over. I consider myself more tolerant than most and to be totally candid I feel a little nervous around transgender people, especially if they have not switched completely, because I'm not sure about the correct 'etiquette' when interacting with someone who has changed or is between genders. I know it's aggravating when you feel like you are not being listened to. Believe me, all you've got to do is live with my mom for a week and you will understand how it feels to not be listened to :rolleyes:. But make it a general policy to give the person the benefit of the doubt, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised with the results if you do.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Therisa, what would you have liked to happened?

 

[therisa]

Ronin, you're entitled to your feelings, but I am sadden that you feel this way.

Honestly, I would want you, to treat me, like anybody else, as a human, who is trying to correct a genetic mistake. Nothing more, nothing less. There are reasons, which a transperson has to go through these stages, for the safety of our own health and the fact, transitioning takes years, before the physical change is noticable. Just like pubety takes years, before all of the changes are completed. During these stages, Ronin, a transperson is, in a very vulnerable situation, which their life can at risk, from others, who fear us.

Ronin, we have people, in our lives, who refuse to accept us, as who we are, or what we have experienced. If you want to swamp mom horror stories, I had to break off all contact with my mom, because she had become a very septic part of my life, destroying my mental health, saying she accepted me, while her eyes said, otherwises.

Ronin, can we agree to disagree, for I would hate to see you, sanctioned because of your post on this thread. This is a site, dedicated to healing and helping other, will you accept my help, to enlighten you, on what it means to be trans? Does this answer, your question, Ayesha?

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Does this answer, your question, Ayesha?

Actually I was referring to what your doctor or nurse could have done differently to help you or ease your anxiety. Or what you wished could have happened.

Regardless of the misunderstanding that I think happened, your above post was amazing Therisa. Well said. :)

 

[therisa]

Oops, sorry Ayesha. I have been too wrapped up, in my own little world, lately. Not sure, how to answer your question. I do have another appointment on September 23rd, which I will be asking some of my own questions, to my nurse practictioner. Whom, I have known her, for almost 7 years, in handling my medical chart.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

@therisa That is good to here about your upcoming appointment. I hope that clears up some of your worry.

 

[therisa]

Time will tell, Ayesha.