Got My Psychiatrist Appointment, But Seeing Red Over The Way, They Handled My File

[ronin47]

Ronin, can we agree to disagree, for I would hate to see you, sanctioned because of your post on this thread. This is a site, dedicated to healing and helping other, will you accept my help, to enlighten you, on what it means to be trans?

The answer to both your questions is certainly yes. Obviously everyone must be treated with dignity and respect regardless, I was making a reference to scenarios such as the one I witnessed in a grocery store when I was working as a cashier. I was serving customer 1, who happen to be the only transgender individual in the very small community. I forget what prompted it exactly, but the next customer in line offhandedly said, "Thank you sir" to customer 2 even though (I think) customer 1 identifies as a woman. After customer 1 left, customer 2 looked at me and, cringing, said, "Gee, I didn't mean to offend," implying that the 'sir' just slipped out and customer 2 realized after the fact it might not have been appropriate.

Growing up I saw customer 1 in the town often but as a child I never once thought of her as a woman, she just looked like an effeminate man to me. So again, to be totally candid, I can understand customer 2's slip.

So that's where I was coming from when I said I didn't think someone calling you 'sir' was something you needed to flip out about.

 

[therisa]

But Ronin, it is very usage of these wrong pronouns, which makes this very offensive to me, and acts as a trigger, when people know better. I have fought, a very long and lonely battle, to reach this stage, in my healing, through transitioning and facing my brutal traumatic past, tainted by transphobic and homophobic comments and actions, taken against me, by my own family and by complete strangers.

I understand what you're saying, but that attitude, which created so much of the mental health issues that the transcommunity faces, on a daily basis. I know about 1 in 3 people, under the age of 20, will attempt suicide, because of this. Words are very powerful weapon, in the hands of the wrong people.

 

[ronin47]

The word "weapon" implies somebody is intentionally trying to use the word to harm you. How can you be certain that it was malicious intent and not a simple stumble or mistake on the part of the person who used it?

 

[therisa]

Sigh.

So that's where I was coming from when I said I didn't think someone calling you 'sir' was something you needed to flip out about.

Ronin, you're missing the entire focus of what I am saying you. There is no "'oops', I'm sorry", in situations, like this. Either, you get it,or you don't. For there is no excuse for the lack of education, when you are dealing with the general public, like a doctor office does.

For I have seen referral forms filled out, with "Therisa" used, instead of my birth name.

 

[DharmaGirl]

Like to be called,

I always put Your Majesty, but they never call me that.

Therisa, I am a nurse, I had a transgender woman in my care and I had no problem but when I gave report to the next nurse, I called the patient her, and told the nurse she was a transgender, waiting for surgery. The nursed went to see the patient and made a big deal out of the fact she was dressed like a woman. Huh? Wasn't I clear? Apparently not. I was shocked when I became a nurse how the culture was. I thought most nurses would be warm and caring, but no.

I was just treated horribly at the hospital. Nurses made fun of me, and told me there was nothing wrong with me. It must be so much worse for you. Hugs, if you allow.

 

[therisa]

Thank you, Monster, for your kind words and your offer, which I gladly accept. Am sorry, you have to experienced transphobic reactions from your fellow nurse, in their treatment of a transwoman. Not everyone is open or accepting, when faced with a situation like this. :hug:

 

[DharmaGirl]

And she was the one who lost out because the woman was a delightful patient who made her own jewelry. She gave me some quickie instructions and I bought the jewelry making stuff but I think you have to have a natural talent for that kind of thing.

 

[ronin47]

I'm sorry that I'm not telling you what you want to hear. Did you talk to the doctor's office yet and find out what was the source of this? Do you know yet whether it was a simple oversight or not? People make mistakes. You do, I do, doctors do. And you are not doing yourself any favors if you walk around with an attitude of thinking the whole world is out to get you.

I have a friend on Facebook who is a transgender woman and she frequently talks about her life as an activist on behalf of the transgender community. Just the other day she wrote about how happy she was that she had the chance to speak in front of the city police department and educate them on transgender issues and how to interact with them appropriately on the street.

So let's assume for a minute they don't "get it." What's the solution? If something is a problem for you you can either get mad about how unfair it is or you can go to the boss and explain that this is a really sensitive and important issue for you and you feel very strongly about being addressed properly in any kind of documentation.

Again, I'm sorry if my words are upsetting to you. My mentality is generally one of "Fix the problem instead of getting mad about the problem," which can make me seem insensitive. I don't know. Maybe I am.

 

[ronin47]

I always put Your Majesty, but they never call me that.

:roflmao:

 

[The Albatross]

Being offended is optional. What are you avoiding by choosing to be offended as you are starting the psychiatric process? How does this benefit you in any way? Is there a pay off?.

Indignation and offense is hardly the right foot to start on healing. Perhaps having a candid conversation with the people who will be involved in your care would be better.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I think its the same as when I was told in the ER, by a nurse, that I didn't have PTSD, I was just stressed and I needed to pull myself together. It is invalidating. I felt I needed to complain because of the way they treat mentally ill people. They were horrid to me. I was still upset and felt invalidated, and I also complained.

 

[therisa]

Albatross, there is a very long and brutal history, which the psychiartic community has damaged transpeople, when seeking their help. Myself, I have been a victim of this, by another psychiartist, and I refuse to let that happen, a second time, to me. Once is more than enough, especially from a clinic that has a large transgender patient list.