Thanks for the welcome, I am getting all teary-eyed and don't really understand why... Taken a look around. Wow, found the word "disassociation" and really feel @ home now! No words to express knowing disassociation and PTSD are related. Something else, looking around how personal tidbits of people's days are being shared, and really liking the read, seeing how this handicap other's have too, and dealing w/it.
I just want to understand more about this thing, and if it is really me, if this did indeed come from my childhood, and if this "shutting down" approach to life really does have an alternative, another doorway that the pathways of my neurons can actually travel, hopefully out a doorway into a healthy consciousness; less impaired, more cognitive, more aware to experience the life that is passing me by... meanwhile I'm wrestling with this dark unseen Angel... wondering how other's are finding their way...
I just wanted to somehow declare that... wow, that was alot more than I expected to come out.