Sufferer Greetings

[DanM96$$]

My name is Daniel Mena. Uh… I have been diagnosed with PTSD from my therapist around 1-2 years ago. It’s been a really hard journey. This is my first time being around a support forum. I hope to feel welcomed and listened too. And I will do my best to return the favor. I am a Christian struggling with the idea to forgive my abusers for what happened to me in my life. All I have been told to do (by them) is to forgive and forget. I feel that is extremely invalidating.

And as a Christian just trying to connect to God better, I don’t know what to do. I feel like God will put me to hell if I don’t forgive as “easily” as my family does.

 

[parrotthepolly]

Welcome! I don't think you'll be going to hell if you don't forgive your abuser(s), what they did must have been horrible to leave such a mess to deal with...

 

[Sideways]

Welcome to the forum:)

 

[PlainJane]

Welcome Daniel

 

[PamelaS]

My name is Daniel Mena. Uh… I have been diagnosed with PTSD from my therapist around 1-2 years ago. It’s been a really hard journey. This is my first time being around a support forum. I hope to feel welcomed and listened too. And I will do my best to return the favor. I am a Christian struggling with the idea to forgive my abusers for what happened to me in my life. All I have been told to do (by them) is to forgive and forget. I feel that is extremely invalidating.

And as a Christian just trying to connect to God better, I don’t know what to do. I feel like God will put me to hell if I don’t forgive as “easily” as my family does.

Welcome to the forum. I am a fellow Christian. I’m also a fellow sufferer of CPTSD. You are welcome here. This is a safe place and everyone here gets it. I hope and pray that this forum is as beneficial to you as it is to me.

Please understand that when your abusers tell you that you haven’t forgiven them, or that you just have to forgive them right away and forget everything, they are lying to you. They are just trying to continue to control you and manipulate you. But you don’t have to take it. You have the right and the ability to be your own person and to heal from what they’ve done to you in whatever manner and whatever time frame it requires for you. They have no say in the matter. They are the cause of your pain, not the cure. So please stop listening to their lies.
I have found this forum, very beneficial, and I have learned about and put in place boundaries with my abusers in order to keep myself protected from further harm. Looking forward to more conversations here with you. Btw W there is a thread on this forum called Scripture Share. You will appreciate it. Some of us have gone off topic on that thread. I’m thinking maybe we should start a second thread for all of us who are Christians who need a place to share our faith and our faith journey and our healing journey according to our faith. Take good care of yourself. Be kind and gentle to yourself. Learn to protect yourself from further harm. Praying for you.

 

[arfie]

hello dan. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here.

i wasn't raised christian, but "forgive and forget" was the parental mantra of my childhood. forget i did. all the way to trauma induced amnesia. it took me 15 or so years of psychotherapy to understand why my shrinks kept saying "amnesia" like it was a bad thing. forgive? who needs to forgive what you can forget?

eventually i came to believe that my epic nightmares, flashbacks, et al, were solid proof that you don't really forget. my herstory of unstable relationships, anger issues, etc., came to look like proof that the absence of forgiveness was eating huge, sucking black holes all over my life. i have yet to find a religious definition of forgiveness which makes sense to me, but my psychotheraputed definition is that forgiveness is letting go of the pain and bitterness. forgiveness is about taking back the power which was stolen from me during the trauma.

but that is me and every case is unique.

steadying support while you sort your own case. welcome to the forum. i hope you find stabilizing companionship here.

 

[Survivor3]

Welcome @DanM96$$

 

[faith_88]

Hi Dan, thank you for sharing and introducing your self. I'm new here and am also a believer (some days to trust His will and timing are rockier than others). Your testimony and story brings me to this hope and a reminder that we do have a future - everything is in God's hands.

I hope to see more of your posts around

 

[Sideways]

Mod note:
@DanM96$$ - I’ve removed your duplicated post.

But for folks reading along, you can find the content here.

 

[DanM96$$]

Oh. Right. Sorry about that. I thought that you couldn’t access it if it was on a completely different thread.