lifeguard17
Bronze Member
My great uncle died three weeks ago now, his funeral was last Friday, and while it was hard, I thought I would be able to do what I have done in the past and delay the majority of the grieving process until I got back home.
I have 6000 words total due on Tuesday, so far I have done less than 50 of them. My plan was to avoid most of the grieving process until late next week, so that I would be at home with my oldest friends around me, my parish and the beach, all people and places that would help keep me calm.
Yeah, my body had other ideas. I made it nearly a week from his funeral to today, I've been a little more jittery than usual, I get tired quicker and my nightmares at worse, but nothing I can't deal with. Except for today. I'm dreading going to bed soon, but I need to sleep tomorrow is a long day.
At the first aid meeting this evening, we celebrated our recent fundraisers by buying new items. One of these included a 'Fat Old Fred', a specially made CPR doll. Generally speaking, people who require you to do CPR on them do not have a six pack, and the 'Fat Old Fred' reflects this. I'm a member of the commitee, and it was my suggestion to buy one, as over the summer I had to do CPR on an elderly, overweight gentleman who had a heart attack, and the 'Little Annie' CPR dolls aren't lifelike at all.
Because I knew what to expect, I was okay with using the 'Fat Old Fred', bit upset but nothing else. Our trainer, Tim, is brilliant at making things more realistic, which includes having 'panicking family members' and 'stupid passers-by'. Unfortunately, one of these 'family members' caused me to trigger. I managed to make it out of the room before breaking down, but not much further.
I'd forgotten the inhuman noises you make when you grieve. A few hours later, and I feel sad, very sad, but exhausted and cried out. It's midnight now, and I know I have to sleep soon, but I don't want to go to bed just yet. I hope I can sleep tonight, and I hope my sleep isn't too disrupted. I'm not sure why I wanted to post this, but I hope it helps me feel better. Night everyone, sweet dreams.
I have 6000 words total due on Tuesday, so far I have done less than 50 of them. My plan was to avoid most of the grieving process until late next week, so that I would be at home with my oldest friends around me, my parish and the beach, all people and places that would help keep me calm.
Yeah, my body had other ideas. I made it nearly a week from his funeral to today, I've been a little more jittery than usual, I get tired quicker and my nightmares at worse, but nothing I can't deal with. Except for today. I'm dreading going to bed soon, but I need to sleep tomorrow is a long day.
At the first aid meeting this evening, we celebrated our recent fundraisers by buying new items. One of these included a 'Fat Old Fred', a specially made CPR doll. Generally speaking, people who require you to do CPR on them do not have a six pack, and the 'Fat Old Fred' reflects this. I'm a member of the commitee, and it was my suggestion to buy one, as over the summer I had to do CPR on an elderly, overweight gentleman who had a heart attack, and the 'Little Annie' CPR dolls aren't lifelike at all.
Because I knew what to expect, I was okay with using the 'Fat Old Fred', bit upset but nothing else. Our trainer, Tim, is brilliant at making things more realistic, which includes having 'panicking family members' and 'stupid passers-by'. Unfortunately, one of these 'family members' caused me to trigger. I managed to make it out of the room before breaking down, but not much further.
I'd forgotten the inhuman noises you make when you grieve. A few hours later, and I feel sad, very sad, but exhausted and cried out. It's midnight now, and I know I have to sleep soon, but I don't want to go to bed just yet. I hope I can sleep tonight, and I hope my sleep isn't too disrupted. I'm not sure why I wanted to post this, but I hope it helps me feel better. Night everyone, sweet dreams.
