Guilt Of Letting It Happen - From Their View

[It's all my fault]

I'm sorry about this. Wow, our military have it tough. I know there must be support programs for you. This has been a huge issue with the incident of suicide among our military. There is treatment and hope, even though you may not believe it. You are not alone. If the PTSD was made worse by your deployment, isn't the military supposed to provide your care and pay? I have no idea. Your sister being a social worker would be an invaluable resource for you. Some times you have to take in year by year, sometimes week by week and sometimes second by second. I wish the best. Get some help, don't give up, things can get better but don't push your sister or friends away....I'm sure they want to help.

 

[keifer]

My PTSD isn't service related. Just an emotional scar from amnesia drugs from a simple out patient surgery. I didn't consent to amnesia drugs. I have had nightmares and emotional flashbacks of being paralyzed and scared to death of dying.

The hospital says, they did no wrong. It's my fault for not asking or demanding more information. I also got the impression, they thought I was making all this up as I have no memory of the event itself.

My sister asks me that, if I'm safe. Does it really matter?

 

[It's all my fault]

Of course it matters! If you are feeling suicidal call 911. Do not be impulsive. You need to find a good psychiatrist and or psychologist to help you get thru this. Things can get better with the right help. Good luck!

 

[keifer]

I've tried different ones. No one know how to deal with an individual who had no memory of the event caused by amnesia drugs yet has an emotional scar and emotional flashbacks as a result of the trauma. I wasn't suppose to remember the trauma, but adrenaline writes things to long term memory as the trauma is happening. The same time the amnesia drugs are working not to write it to long term memory.

As far as Veteran Programs go, you have to be out of the military to get in. I'm in the military and the 6 sessions they give you are suppose to make you right as rain and march onward.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

@Solara and @keifer The post is now in the sufferers section. Just FYI.

 

[Keifer]

I've tried different ones. No one know how to deal with an individual who had no memory of the event caused by amnesia...

I choose to retire vice go through the medical board. I survived my disability exams at the VA. It wasn't bad, just fragmented my mind and my body just shook as if having anxiety attacks. I had sever nightmares for weeks before, during, and after.

Now, I just withdraw. If I'm quiet, nothing is wrong and its just invisible. I don't trust any medical place and I'll never go back ever. Getting help from them is like going to your rapist for help.

I have a husky pup and when he's dead, I'm done living in hell. 60 will be a good age and my heart should kill me by then...