I am feeling a little bit guilty because as I am waiting to see if husband is going to get into a treatment facility....I have had to admit to myself that as much as I want this for him to get the help he needs, I also need this. I have been unable to go anywhere or do anything for about a week now officially (told by Drs to not leave him alone). A couple weeks longer self-imposed as that is when he really started slipping again.
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General Guilt
- Post starter LAA
- Start date
- Status
ISupportHer
Diamond Member
Yes, I can identify. I hate it when my wife has to be hospitalized but I know she is safe there.
ISH
ISH
Sunshine71
Gold Member
I do understand LAA
My husband was taken to hospital and had to stay in hospital as well after having a bl@@dy heart attack (at the age of 38)
He also has stayed with his brother for a few nights and I appreciated the space. I feel that it isnt our partner we need the space from - Its the PTSD.......
Wishing you all the best
Sunshine x
My husband was taken to hospital and had to stay in hospital as well after having a bl@@dy heart attack (at the age of 38)
He also has stayed with his brother for a few nights and I appreciated the space. I feel that it isnt our partner we need the space from - Its the PTSD.......
Wishing you all the best
Sunshine x
- Post starter
- #4
Thanks Sunshine.
Things are going okay. I think you are right about needing a break from the PTSD. I am just realizing how much stress I have been under. I almost feel traumatized myself. My husband had started cutting himself and was holding onto his guns a lot before we finally got him into treatment. I didn't call police ever because that is what I do, and I knew a uniform would immediately escalate him.
I knew someone would get hurt and possibly killed and I would rather deal with the situation myself that live with that. We do have a couple of retired police friends that husband trusts that were negotiators who were a great help a couple times, so I know I wasn't entirely on my own.
Just yesterday it hit me that as he has become more coherent being in treatment, I have been floundering out here. I am not getting any help, still going to work, taking care of the kids etc. Just the stress of those weeks never knowing what I would come home to or get called home for, seems to have left me very frazzled right now. I really couldn't figure out until yesterday why I haven't been feeling right emotionally and physically.
I realized I am feeling kind of like I do after a serious incident at work when the adrenaline wears off. I am trying to take care of myself, started yoga, and going to chiropractor for the physical effects of the stress. I may see a counselor Thursday. I am hoping I can get a grip soon. I kind of find myself fearing when my husband comes home almost as much as looking forward to it. He seems to be doing so very well and making such strides in healing but I really fear going through the last couple of months again. At the same time, he is the man I still love dearly and I can't imagine "throwing him away". I know unless there was abuse of some sort, I could not.
I do know in my head that I'm not the only one here that struggles like this...I sure don't like it though.
LAA
Things are going okay. I think you are right about needing a break from the PTSD. I am just realizing how much stress I have been under. I almost feel traumatized myself. My husband had started cutting himself and was holding onto his guns a lot before we finally got him into treatment. I didn't call police ever because that is what I do, and I knew a uniform would immediately escalate him.
I knew someone would get hurt and possibly killed and I would rather deal with the situation myself that live with that. We do have a couple of retired police friends that husband trusts that were negotiators who were a great help a couple times, so I know I wasn't entirely on my own.
Just yesterday it hit me that as he has become more coherent being in treatment, I have been floundering out here. I am not getting any help, still going to work, taking care of the kids etc. Just the stress of those weeks never knowing what I would come home to or get called home for, seems to have left me very frazzled right now. I really couldn't figure out until yesterday why I haven't been feeling right emotionally and physically.
I realized I am feeling kind of like I do after a serious incident at work when the adrenaline wears off. I am trying to take care of myself, started yoga, and going to chiropractor for the physical effects of the stress. I may see a counselor Thursday. I am hoping I can get a grip soon. I kind of find myself fearing when my husband comes home almost as much as looking forward to it. He seems to be doing so very well and making such strides in healing but I really fear going through the last couple of months again. At the same time, he is the man I still love dearly and I can't imagine "throwing him away". I know unless there was abuse of some sort, I could not.
I do know in my head that I'm not the only one here that struggles like this...I sure don't like it though.
LAA
amethist
VIP Member
HI LAA
I hear what your saying here, you dealt with it all until he went for treatment, and now it like a switch has been turned off.
Is there any way you can take some leave and have some kind of break you need too. Even if it is just spending some fun time with your kids, forgetting any chores and just messing about for a few days.
If they wont give you leave, as for compassionate leave instead, they should not refuse you that.
Take some well earned time for you and your kids, you all deserve a break.
Amethist
I hear what your saying here, you dealt with it all until he went for treatment, and now it like a switch has been turned off.
Is there any way you can take some leave and have some kind of break you need too. Even if it is just spending some fun time with your kids, forgetting any chores and just messing about for a few days.
If they wont give you leave, as for compassionate leave instead, they should not refuse you that.
Take some well earned time for you and your kids, you all deserve a break.
Amethist
- Post starter
- #6
HI Amethist,
I would love that. I did take one day after D left and the kids and I went to the zoo. Unfortunately my dept is really low staffed...they already grump about the Sundays I take to see D although they can't stop me because of the family medical leave act.
I have 3 days off a day and instead of letting them get too filled with running errands and doing chores, I am trying to fit in fun and helpful things. My kids go back to school Monday.
Just the little things, like fitting Yoga in and making that a priority, seem to be helping. I was kind of surprised to get hit with a backlash like this though.I held it together for over 3 years, then when the treatment we have been seeking for him happens I find myself falling apart.
Thank you so much for the support.
LAA
I would love that. I did take one day after D left and the kids and I went to the zoo. Unfortunately my dept is really low staffed...they already grump about the Sundays I take to see D although they can't stop me because of the family medical leave act.
I have 3 days off a day and instead of letting them get too filled with running errands and doing chores, I am trying to fit in fun and helpful things. My kids go back to school Monday.
Just the little things, like fitting Yoga in and making that a priority, seem to be helping. I was kind of surprised to get hit with a backlash like this though.I held it together for over 3 years, then when the treatment we have been seeking for him happens I find myself falling apart.
Thank you so much for the support.
LAA
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