Gut Instincts? Has Anyone Ignored Them And It Lead To Ptsd Diagnosis?

[jennygt]

I have been thinking about this A LOT lately. I was diagnosed bout two years ago after a few bad relationships. I also was attacked by a group of boys when I was 12 after I wouldn't date one of them. Every relationship I have had (only 4 and I'm 42) the first time I met/saw the person I got a weird feeling but thought well it was because I was attacked and dismissed it. Every, and I mean every single one was controlling, had a personality disorder, drug abuse, was a snob or a combo of the above. They all pushed for quick relationships etc.

My psych told me that there is also something called freeze/fawn/fight/flight. Subconsciously we pick up on the fact that our intuition is going off and get scared and freeze and be overly nice and then the people can read that we will put up with stuff, vulnerable, victims etc. I recently read Gift of Fear (great book and EVERYONE should read it) and it was like a slap in the face. I somehow knew I initially didn't like that person and discounted it.

Has anyone ever did this?And not to sound stupid I am picking stuff up on people I knew before my diagnosis. Case in point- a guy at church that I was always friendly with. He ended up last year not leaving me alone to the point I threatened a restraining order. I thought back about how I would see him looking at me, had some weird vacant smile, came out of a bathroom once and dried his hands jokingly on the back of my shirt. Every time I would just laugh it off thinking if I told him off I would look like a bitch. Does PTSD heighten our intuition? Has anyone had a similar experience?

 

[Ed Norton]

I'm not understanding?
As far as heightening intuition I'm not sure..but it does make you hypervigilant and much more wary.

Are you asking can you get ptsd from being ignored?- no you can't, not
criterion A for ptsd

 

[jennygt]

Ok. You meet a person. You feel like there is something off with them. You then say I am being paranoid and laugh it off. However, the longer you know them you realize that in fact something IS wrong with them. It is usually with the opposite sex in my case.

This also may be a female thing. ;)

 

[Ed Norton]

Oh yes that happens sometimes.
Do you have PTSD?

 

[jennygt]

yes I was diagnosed 2 years ago. They think I may have had it for 30 years undiagnosed.

 

[Ed Norton]

I'm sorry to hear that...I hope you are healing

 

[Pencil]

I totally relate. I was 'trained' to not react, to not say 'no', to not be difficult, obstructive, spiteful, blah blah blah. I also tend to get involved with people who are just not okay, despite my pathology radar going bezerk. We tend to recreate the very situations that led to the PTSD diagnosis in the first place and re-traumatize ourselves.

 

[garden]

I was raised to be obedient, submissive, and unquestioning. It was my role as a female to be a certain way, and this was strictly enforced so I did not dare step outside my proper role. This definitely messed with my right and wrong 'radar', and I found that when I was out of my home and in the world (I was very isolated before that) I had a hard time discerning who had my best interest in mind, and who pretended to have my best interest in mind... Some people pulled the wool over my eyes because they were good actors...

On the flip side, I was raised in a home with DV, so I also gained some instincts that I may never have developed otherwise. I read my parents faces and body language daily so as to understand the climate of the day, so as to understand what kind of mood they might be in...basically to understand if anyone was gonna get hurt... I have been able to spot hidden resentment, hostility, and anger from people who don't know they are revealing it. I've met people and could literally feel (it's an energy they give off) that they do not like me, despite the fact we don't know each other and have never exchanged words. I have been dead on correct with so many people, so it has been helpful to have a heightened sensitivity towards certain negative emotions...however, having been trained to be a docile female, I have dismissed my initial feelings about someone a time or two... and ended up getting hurt somehow...

It's a mixed bag.

 

[Deleted member 28740]

My psych told me that there is also something called freeze/fawn/fight/flight. Subconsciously we pick up on the fact that our intuition is going off and get scared and freeze and be overly nice and then the people can read that we will put up with stuff, vulnerable, victims etc.

Thanks for this post. New to therapy and will ask about this. It did happen to me. I knew I was F**KED. Ignored that voice to my demise. Destroyed my life in every aspect. Don't know that if the pieces can be put back together. It was not a general trend in my prior relationships. Not only did I ignore the initial don't just walk, run like hell away. Due to his father's death after we were engaged, I put up with a mind bending heart smashing situation. Felt I could not abandon him, and excused appalling behavior as grief related. Finally a break off. Few years later a reconnection. For that I can not find a way to explain except for a second chance at what was when good incredible. Sailing we were together 24/7, you think you know some one. No, the mask started to slip. Have to stop here….. getting the past overwhelming the present.

 

[ihateusernames]

Yeah I think I know what you're talking about. A lot of the things that I have done, or let other people do, over the years never made sense to me except recently in light of the concept of what my therapist called co-dependence and a freeze reaction or what I've come to understand here and through other reading to be dissociation. Whether through intuition or just regular observation, I don't know, but when certain people have made me nervous my tendency has been to be overly nice to them instead of to run from them or at least to tell them to back off. That has caused some major problems for me and has led to more bad situations in which I just shut off completely instead of heeding early warning signs.

That's actually the thing that makes me angriest. Not that x, y, or z was done to me in the past, I forgive easily and feel like I am pretty resilient, but that it sticks around and leads you to more and more of the same crap. That's infuriating. I hope that awareness is the beginning of the end. Same for you.

 

[Underdog]

Yup, I've certainly ignored my gut instinct with excusing behaviors with thoughts like "they are just stressed" or "once the new boss gets here things will be different." I soldiered up and kept going despite my gut telling me things weren't going to change. The job I'm referring to was traumatic for me, but it was only the catalyst for my PTSD. Nonetheless, what they put us through was very traumatic over a long period. If only I had listened to my gut and left before things started getting insane and before I found myself in an impossible situation with no hope of surviving.

 

[The Albatross]

Nope but I know I ignored the signals/gut/intuition after I likely had PTSD and what I got was more trauma and unwanted consequences. I would say that being attacked at 12, you most likely didn't dismiss it.

I know personally I was drawn to what was familiar cuz that's what I thought I deserved in some circumstances. In others I had unwanted experiences because some people could sense the victim mentality and wanted to play/prey on it. I had to get down to brass tacks fast and break the cycle so as not to cause further traumatization.

I had to consider being willing to do things in an unfamiliar way so I didn't keep attracting the same sort of people into my life. It worked. Not easy but it worked.