I want you to know that I'm cheering you on towards your recovery so that you can meet these wonderful goals of being a minister for Christ. It's a great goal and I fully support you in it. With your level of passion, and if you beat this addiction, I do believe you can help others change their lives and know God more.
There will always be reasons not to go, until you decide you are ready to do what it takes to heal from this addiction and the horrible trauma you have been through so you can do the things you want to do in life, so you can really LIVE and not die.
Don't forget, you have a therapist and doctor who want to help. I think it's great you want to go this through "sheer will power" - but how's that been working for you so far? It seems like you have been stuck enduring so much pain by doing it all by sheer willpower. Be the humble person that I know you are, and ask for help. Being a Christian isn't just about knowledge of the bible, but actions and humbly admitting we can't do it all on our own.
There are good Christian counselors, and bad ones, because like all people, they are human. If your therapist is a good licensed Christian counselor, and you tell her you need to get to NA and you need her help to figure out how to get there, she should be able to help problem solve that with you and fully support your going there.
There are online meetings- check out the links at
http://na-recovery.org/
Also, check out Celebrate Recovery and see if they have any groups in your area:
http://www.celebraterecovery.com/ They are a 100% Christian based preach the gospel group that uses the 12 steps and more to help anyone with any kind of struggle like this. They teach on the bible every time. I have a friend who quit crack after 25 years of heavy abuse with Celebrate Recovery's help and the willingness to ask for help and do things differently.
If the pulpit is where you want to be, then you gotta get sober and heal from the trauma and addiction. Your recovery doesn't depend on your roommates being gay or not, or your house being anointed with oil or not, or even your therapist knowing Jesus or not. Hear me out on this. God is the creator of the universe with the power to save someone from death itself. He died for YOU. He can use secular therapists and doctors to help you.
Be careful of believing anything that sounds like if you just have enough faith you will be healed, or that you even have to be "chosen" to be healed. That's not biblical and usually leaves people broke and still sick.
I have seen two Christian therapists. They provided good guidance on spiritual matters. Initially they helped my faith grow and it seemed to be an encouraging thing. However, they simply didn't have the training and expertise needed to help me heal from the impact of trauma. It ended up backfiring because they took on more than they could handle. It almost shipwrecked my faith entirely. It was well meaning but damaging to my faith and my mental health.
Simply because they tried to do it all on their own.
I still would suggest good Christina counseling for those who are looking for that as a complement to working with people who are trained (secular or Christian) in treating a particular mental health issue like trauma or addiction. There are very good solid Christian therapists out there. The good ones will approach someone with addiction and trauma (or even addiction alone) by teaming up with a solid team of professionals to guide you on the steps to recovery. A good Christian therapist would make sure you are working with people licensed and trained to work with people with addictions and with training in trauma.
I don't want to knock what your therapist is doing, as for some there is a place for spiritual warfare for some - and to each his own. The problem is when someone relies on that alone instead of getting their butt in the chair to recovery meetings and treatment. Your recovery from addiction isn't going to be based on whether or not you live with people who are gay or not, or if your house is anointed with oil or not. It's going to happen if you choose to accept you have a serious addiction that you are unable to defeat on your own and you are willing to do something different and get help and find relief from the pain of the horrible trauma that should have never happened to you.
Hang in there! :hug: