Death Has Anyone Lost A Child And Parent So Close Together?. Reaccuring Nightmares Taking Their Toll

[4EvaPurpleSam]

I lost my eldest child in July 2013 then my mother in 2014. Been having nightmares and horrible flash backs ever since. I've had a second daughter since she helps keep me sane.

But the reaccuring nightmares and flashbacks are taking their toll. I rarely sleep when I can their disturbed by these reaccuring nightmares and flashbacks or I go into one hell of heavy sleep.

I have also seen my mother holding my eldest but when the light goes on their gone. Heard her calling my name clear as day when I am home alone or even with my partner sometimes. He dont hear it though.

If he did I wouldnt feel so bonkers. But thats it I do feel bonkers. Anyone else experienced this or something very similar?.

Would make me feel alittle better if I am not the only one with this problem and that I am actually not bonkers.

 

[Silver.]

Hi there Eva,
I lost 7 people in 1996, including my parents. I used to feel my mother's hand all the time, physically feel it. It was tearing me up, me holding on. For so long, I wondered, did I miss my mother, or the idea of a mother?
Was it really her hand or was it just my grief? I can't really tell you, because our grief does so many things to us. All I can tell you is you need to find some sort of peace, if you can, because the flashbacks? (I have them too, and they suck, hard, I feel you), but they get a little easier to recover from, when you can settle some of the pain you are carrying.
Learning techniques to cope has been one of my biggest helpers, sure I could have googled, and tried to learn on my own, but it was a lot better going through it with a therapist. I don't know if you have one, but I can tell you, finding the right therapist, can be your best ally. (I live in small town America and even here there are a few options for therapy).
I hope you can find some sort of resolution, I can feel your pain, and so want you to start healing.
*gentle hugs if you accept*

 

[4EvaPurpleSam]

Hi there Eva,
I lost 7 people in 1996, including my parents. I used to feel my mother's hand all the ti...

Thank you been thinking about looking into therapy x

 

[Deleted member 33052]

Welcome! I'm so glad you found us. Here, you can talk about your trauma and know that you'll be understood and supported, but as @Silver. mentioned, therapy is crucial to the healing process.

You're not bonkers. Your subconscious is trying very hard to tell you that there are emotional memories buried inside you that need resolution. That's where a trauma therapist comes in. S/he can help you to deal with those unresolved emotional memories.

Good luck on your healing journey!

 

[Fadeaway]

Yes, I have. only a short amount of time in between. Not in a place I can talk about it right but I will come back to the thread latter.

 

[Coffee]

@4EvaPurpleSam : Yes, me too. I lost my youngest son the 19th of january some years ago, and my step-grandpa' two days later. I couldn't cope with the death of my step-grandpa because I had to much with the grief of my son. My dissociative disorders became very hard to cope with the following two years and when I was not dissociating, I had flashbacks and nigthmares :(

It may take years to get on the other side of trauma, you're not bonkers. I had hallucinations too :(