Have A Question For PTSD Sufferers Regarding Alcohol

[Hen]

I don't know if it will help but here is my alcohol story. I get emotions that I cannot deal with and I binge. I drank every day 10 yrs ago as I had no idea that my childhood abuse was linked to my thoughts and emotions, I stopped drinking daily as it was not good for my kids. 5 yrs ago I cottoned on that they did, for the past two yrs I have struggled. For the past few mths I have been seeing a psychologist weekly and am getting a handle on the drinking. I can go out and not go over board and I am fine most of the time at home.

I hate not drinking daily as it was my only relief from my brain/thoughts but it is not the way forward. I have a wonderful and tolerant husband and he hates my drinking but once a week or so he tolerates me sitting out and getting blotto as he knows it is my coping mechanism. I can be verbally horrid and vent my anger at him but he now understands it's no meant for him. As time goes past I am finding other ways for my anger to come out.

Luckily for me some of his friends drink quite heavily so he has a slightly unbalanced perspective but with my job as probation officer I have to supervise many people who have committed crime whilst drunk and this does for him seem weird.

He just turns a blind eye once a week or so and we manage it the rest of the time - he is a saint. All PTSD carers are. xxx

 

[helena]

Thank you,

I have a similar perspective as your husband does to drinking - plenty of heavy drinkers in my family and social circle (merchant seamen, scandanavian etc)

It truly isn't the 'drink' per se, but what drinking brings out in him that caused many of his problems.

The ptsd is a new thing for me to get to grips with - I was more optimistic because he agreed to get treatment with a new therapy unit and I thought... thought. Well, you know the rest.

I knew him before he went in the army so I see the horrendous damage that has been done to his mind. Maybe that is what keeps me around though tonight I must admit my spirits sank to an all time low... I think about walking away at least 10 times a day.

I want to see him through treatment at least - he has no one else left. Only me.

 

[Hen]

Don't feel you have blown it - he like me is the one with the problem. We are the one with the mental health issue so you should not feel bad or unsafe or unhappy.

I now understand that there is only so much a partner can take. Verbal abuse is unacceptable but for me my husband was my only safe outlet for a long time.

If there is unacceptable abuse then police need to be involved. I supervise in my job domestic abusers and there is help there but for PTSD the gp is the best 1st stop where we are.

If you get into a sober conversation then the 5 w's and 'tell me about' are good ways forward to get openess going. I hope things pan out ok for you xxx

 

[anthony]

You could read around here from back in 2005, posts where I had severe drinking issues to the point I could actually drink a homebrew bourbon, like 75% alcohol, 700ml, and I was still walking, talking and functioning. I was dependent upon it to cope... I certainly aided in destroying my last marriage with it, along with other things. The person has to want to change their habits... change the way they cope. Even better, instead of coping, why not try healing the trauma so you no longer have to cope. But these are all decisions outside of your control, and only he can achieve this if he wants to continue a relationship with you.