Have to interact with abusive father while his dad sells house I was going to inherit

[littleoc]

Hello

I'm sorry I've been less active in the forums. I am really struggling. I hope you are all okay ir okay enough.

My dad, who was my main abuser growing up, to the point of causing psychotic breaks in multiple people, is being tasked by his dad to be in my mom's house.

My mom died last year and won't be affected. I am losing everything, anything I've ever worked for, especially my animals. House has been in bad shape for two decades.

I am losing it. Forced contact with my dad. He's gaslighting that he's nice and acting like he's on my side. I guess I believe it.

He will probably be in my house on Monday, tomorrow. With a realtor.

I just want support from people who understand. I don't feel well enough to explain more clearly, I'm sorry

He's been trying to break in and break the door down for years. Now family is forcing me to let him in.

Will try to make him stand outside. Don't know if I'll be successful.

Worked so hard to not only lose everything but also have to be submissive to some guy who raped my mom all the time. I feel like I'm letting her down, but surely she doesn't care anymore.

 

[Freemartin]

So sorry you have to go through all that incredibly hard stuff.

Now it’s time for some nuclear self-care. All the tools you’ve ever found that help, even a bit? Implement them like there’s no tomorrow. And remember that there actually is a tomorrow. And the day after that.

And keep coming here and keep us posted.

 

[Movingforward10]

An incredibly difficult place to be.

Is there someone you trust that can be there with you when he is there?

If not, does writing out your actions plan help? I find that when I am overwhelmed I can easily forget what I want to say or do and just freeze. But knowing I have something written out helps me remember my agency and autonomy when I look at it and it prompts me.

Do you know the realtor? Can you contact them to say you won't be accepting the Dad in your home so that he is prepared? Not sure if that would help just thinking of options.