Poll Have You Ever Had Survival Sex?

[Philippa]

I left the job after that. I knew it would get worse. I had a feeling he would start hurting me

I had that same feeling with the f*ckbuddy. He started asking me if he could beat me up at times, during sex, and saying really crazy shit to me, that he later had no recollection of saying (so he said). So I just ditched him and cut my losses. He was gonna do something bad to me at some point...I just knew it. I'm better off alone, as hard as that can be at times.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

trained me for this type of thing

I was groomed for sex when I was about 14 years old. When it came to having sex for money when I was 19 it was very easy to do. I knew what the men wanted and what they wanted to hear. I was trained.

 

[Philippa]

I think I'm working with a few women who have been groomed at the moment Ayesha. I have to go to work now, but I'll be interested to see how this thread unfold later on tonight when I get home.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

he offered me a place to go to and cuddles when I needed them

I probably did that too, Philippa.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Both of my bosses there actually wanted me to have sex with them.

They were both very creepy. I remember being at one of there houses. I was afraid. My gut told me leave very quickly. I think he was trying to gain my trust to get me to come back to his house.

I think they would have gang raped me.

 

[safenow]

My gut told me leave very quickly.

I am so glad you listened to your 'gut'. That is your safety net working. I"m so pleased you listened. For me, when the hair on the back of my neck tingles, I know it's time to turn around and go the other direction.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I don't regret what I did. I know I would do it over again becasue I know what it feels like to find yourself in that situation. I also don't find the term 'prostitution' offensive. Prostitution is just the word for it and is a fact. The word does not scare me.

I felt a bit dirty afterwards but once I got the money I knew I would do it again and I knew I would get used to it. I was 'trained' after all.

 

[safenow]

I felt a bit dirty afterwards

I didn't feel dirty after that time. When I felt dirty was after I got raped. I felt I'd never get clean again. I think it's the circumstances that make the difference in how you feel about something.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

The 2nd time I did it was with a different person from the first. I think what happened was he asked me to stop by his work, which was a hotel.

I showed up and he just grabbed my hand and lead me around the building to one of the rooms. I remember thinking "Ah shit" cause I really wasn't in the mood for sex. I had just had sex with someone else the night before. I had no idea what he wanted until he started taking me back to the room.

I remember being in the room with him. I don't remember any foreplay he just took off his pants and mine, put on a condom and f*cked me. It was not rape because there was no force. I knew if I had said no he probably would have stopped.

But ugh it was awful. I was not in the mood at all and was not expecting it. He didn't tell me that he wanted sex and it was the middle of the day.

Afterwards I took him to a restaurant becasue he was hungry. He told me on the way there "I will get the money next week." I knew then I needed to start asking for cash up front.

But it was so...routine. Your emotions just leave you and it was getting easier.

 

[Changing4Best]

I said OTHER as I had a 2-3 year period where I was homeless and my gangster boyfriend kept me protected. Being homeless in the streets is a horrible experience I would not wish even on my worst enemy. My gangster boyfriend used to send folks out with me to see to it that no one hassled me while I begged for money. I stood at the corner of 2 highways and held a sign that said HOMELESS & DISABLED. Folks would give me enough money for a very cheap motel room and some food like a box of macaroni and cheese. We stayed in a kitchenette unit and we got by.

At first I was not aware of the protection he sent with me, some of his gang members I assume. But one day I was attacked by another beggar who wanted my panhandling spot and his man came right out of hiding and kept things in order, so to speak. I used to beg for the money from 5 AM to about Noon each day, always on the shady side of these highways, as this happened in Florida USA, a very hot semi-tropical area.

Anyway, I gave him sex whether I wanted to or not. In fact, he raped me one night because I was sick and he did not care. From that night on, in a way, every night I was raped by him, as I knew that I had no choice in the matter. DANG!

Someone handed me a little flier about Jesus one day, along with a dollar bill. I accepted Jesus then when I read it, and He is my Lord and Savior now. He soon therafter rescued me from this horrible situation, when I prayed to Him asking Him to do so.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Reading all the responses here I am realized all the times I had sex not becasue I wanted it ( like I was horny) but becasue I was getting something in return. Realizing this happened lots of times.

I do remember having sex with someone in my car; "Why are you always so dry???!" he asked annoyed. I remember thinking "because I don't want you!" but I was getting something out of it. Food probably in that case.

 

[shoulderblades]

I have never had sex for money or drugs or for a place to stay, but I've had sex simply for comfort and affection, which I was craving so much that I wanted to kill myself if I didn't get even just a bit of affection. I don't know if that counts as survivor sex.

Actually... I just remembered. It's a foggy memory, but I do recall going on a sex and alcohol "binge" a few years ago. I was drinking pretty excessively, getting pretty drunk as often as I could, just to feel "high" and to block out whatever was going through my mind at the time. I didn't have money for alcohol but having sex with people in order to procure alcohol always worked for me. So, I suppose I have had survivor sex of sorts.