Childhood Have You Told Your Abuser(s) You Have Ptsd?

[Ellabella44]

no, they dont know. I am nc with everyone who gave me this. all my parents know is that I am in therapy and doing alot of work. and thats all my sister in law who told them to leave me alone told them.

 

[katz]

That's the only answer I get from anyone in my family. "talk about it with your councelor". They have never wanted to deal with my "problems" (as they all call them.)

 

[RavenGirl]

@katz, they don't want to know because then it's "real" for them. It's hard to deny things happened when it's in your face so to speak, but if you can remain in denial it's like it never happened. (That's my theory anyways) :hug: Raven

 

[Mafia_Science]

The abusers were my parents. I didn't tell them directly, but I went to a counselor because I thought I was suffering from panic attacks, when in reality, they were flashbacks. The counselor asked me what caused it. I didn't tell him, but after he probed me a while, I did admit that it was an abusive situation in my childhood, but I didn't tell him who inflicted it.

Me, being only 13 or 14 years old then, didn't understand that he was required to tell these things to my parents. In fact I didn't even understand that what they did to me was illegal. I didn't even understand the flashbacks. I just thought I was having like a heart palpitations or something, which the doctors thought were panic attacks, which were really flashbacks.

When the counselor told my dad what was up with me, about the "abusive childhood situation," he told my mom, and they knew what I was talking about. They were mad. Really mad. They accused me of lying, that I wanted attention. I never went back to the therapist.

 

[katz]

@katz, they don't want to know because then it's "real" for them. It's hard to de...

Thanks RavenGirl.
I'm sure that it is that way-for all of them.

I have concrete proof, that I wanted for myself, of each person that hurt me. I wish sometimes that I could show them to them and tell them "see! I'm not lying." But, I'm sure it wouldn't matter. They all would just think that I was making things up.

It makes me very sad that this is how I will be remembered. As odd as it sounds, I am going to be sure that I leave my journal out. Someday when I'm gone, a member of my family will have to clean out my home. I want someone to find it, someone to say "wow! she really did go thru all that." I know that I will be gone, but maybe, just maybe, someday, someone will know-and believe. I hope.

 

[RavenGirl]

@katz, they can deny now but when we're all dead and gone I really think the abusers are going to have to pay the price for what they did. I also think the non believers eyes will be opened and then they'll be sorry they didn't believe. I believe in karma, if not in this life, then in the afterlife or the next life. :rolleyes::angelic:Raven

 

[EveHarrington]

The abusers were my parents. I didn't tell them directly, but I went to a counselor because I tho...

Sometimes I wonder if these therapists actually think! Most probable situation is abuse in the home, so why would the therapist tell the parents what the child disclosed? The therapist should have reported to social services. Telling the parents is just telling them to hide the abuse as the gig is up!!

 

[sun seeker]

Yes. One of them, anyway. It didn't make the slightest bit of difference. If they can deny being abusive, they can deny the effects of the abuse just as easily. I suppose you could say there was some benefit: there is nothing left that I could have done to make her see, that I didn't do. The utter futility of the exercise let me finally put my attention elsewhere.

 

[UnKnown-Self]

Yes and no... I was first diagnosed in my 20's and a few times after so I would've imagined it might have came up. The thing is while I knew I had PTSD I didn't really understand what it meant to have PTSD until this last year.
Today I don't even talk to them but I know what the reaction would be.

You always did sing poor me.

You weren't the only one, if it wasn't for you and your instigating, big mouth, whatever, your father wouldn't have beat me as much.(even though he was beating her long before I was born.)

Here we go again!

What about me? What about everything I suffered?!

You always have to drag out things from the past and dramatize them

That's not what happened

So what, you think you deserve better then anyone else got? (No, I just don't want to live my life as an abusive drunk)

I'm so sick of hearing that shit. Get over yourself.

So no I don't/won't tell them I have PTSD , I don't need to hear that stuff outside I already say it inside. Mostly, I don't want them to know the fear they instilled in me is still there. They would have to test it.

So not gonna happen.

 

[Mafia_Science]

@EveHarrington

why would the therapist tell the parents what the child disclosed?

I had known better than to tell the therapist that it was my parents. I had told him that I wouldn't tell him who did it. In fact, he put me on the spot, and asked me if my parents did abuse me. I said that it wasn't my parents -out of fear.

 

[UnKnown-Self]

@RavenGirl I used to believe in karma but I'm not so sure anymore. It's reenforces in someway that all the bad things that happened in my life are my fault. Like a punishing vengeful God . I just don't know, have I been such a terrible person?

 

[RavenGirl]

@Alice.in.Wonderland , no you aren't a bad person just like I'm not. But remember there are forces of good and evil, and some people are just PURE EVIL. Sometimes evil wins out, but I choose to believe that they'll get theirs in the end. It's part of what keeps me going in a positive direction. :angelic: