Childhood Have You Told Your Abuser(s) You Have Ptsd?

[Intrepid]

I've talked to her about it. She always gets defensive. She says I should let go of the past, or that it didn't happen, or that I am just hurting her by bringing it up. She's still pretty crazy, in a typical, abuser sort of way.

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

I've talked to her about it. She always gets defensive. She says I should let go of the past, or that...

Typical abuser bs denial.

 

[Deleted member 30956]

I feel that letting my abuser know that I have PTSD will make me feel a bit more empowered, as opposed to just sitting back and having to swallow his explanations for why I am the way that I am - which in the end, I sense, aggravates my PTSD even more. I haven't had much appetite lately, for example.
So that when I ask for financial help, he could maybe understand why I need it.

The other option is to sue him and then never speak to him again. If the abuse happened 20 years ago, I still can, right? If anyone has experience doing the latter, please PM me!

 

[Joanne Moore]

How did it go?

My abuser along with the rest of my family members deny that I have PTSD. There is nothing wrong with my memory. In writing "Ghost; The Unseen Disorder of PTSD" I hope to bring awareness and more importantly, education to society about PTSD. Particularly the sad truth that many PTSD sufferers (such as myself) are ostracized and or rejected by loved ones. <3 Never give up hope. If I can survive, you can as well. Hugs to all. I understand!!!! <3JM (MooreVirgoRocks)

 

[Deleted member 29920]

I think that telling them that would just feed their Narcissism more, they are sadistic and would take joy knowing how unwell I am.

I will not forgive as they ruined my first 31 years of existence.

@Whispering_Truth, not harsh or psychotic at all, it's a natural response to abuse. And I feel the same about the people who hurt me.

They stole MY TIME. I can't get it back. Unforgivable.

 

[Stickler]

@ Salad: my reading of your dad?
He'd tell you it's your fault or some nonsense.

...I was reading a book on narcissists/sociopaths...and their reaction to vulnerability is rather paradoxical; they tend to go into a rage at it.
They perceive it as an attack, an attempt to manipulate them.
They become angry and disgusted.
So, to be vulnerable around them is to open yourself up to really getting shredded to bits?
Therefore, I do not recommend telling him.
I recommend getting on your feet and cutting him out of your life.

 

[Awaywithyou149]

you can tell em but in the case of a mean abusive parent you just feed the flames and w the sick abusive/neglectful parent they often continue to live in the same denial which caused so much pain in the first place so they really can't hear it. I've come to see them as the mean one and the sick one and the two of them together as my bad luck. Accepting that I got a basically bad set of parents has not been easy. Yeah before I got healthier and everyday hurt like hell I coulda killed them I was so angry Doing that wouldn't have changed the damage they caused Telling them is probably a waste of time unless they come out of the fog or let go of their dance w the devil. Again, please forgive me for repeating myself but best thing I did was realize my biggest gripe was w fate and the unfairness of ithabing to see day in and day out kids Round me who could just "be" while I spent so much time trying to pick up the pieces of my shattered self. Best thing is when they don't really matter a whole lot then maybe u can pray for the poor or wretched souls they live with

 

[Kodah]

I don't recall. I think so but I got the impression from the hospital and quack, PTSD isn't possible from the drugs and my event.

I changed hospitals and seen a different doc who mentioned he'd not do it like they did due to the risk of PTSD with that drug combo. So who's the quack and who's the goose?

They, the medical field in general, can go to hell. I'll have nothing to do with them ever again.

It is always a trigger and when I'm exposed long enough I just tremble for hours in a disassociated state unware I'm disassociating; try and explain that in a medical recovery room and the nurse looks at you like you there's something seriously wrong with you.

 

[Lucycat]

It was in my witness statement - so readout in court. His reaction? - I have no idea.

 

[hodge]

My mom totally surprised me. Well, at first, she denied I had any problems and yelled at me for saying I had a mental illness, but she's worked in the mental health field and I told her to ask one of her former colleagues who is a therapist about it. Evidently, she did, amazingly, because she is quite a narcissist. After that she became quite understanding (for her). She is nowhere near a confidant or anything, but she now accepts that I have this and that I don't have the capabilities I used to have. Partly, I think, because she doesn't have to blame it on herself. She knows of two of my traumatic events that were caused by others, so that's probably what she hangs on to. I have never told her that I never did therapy on any of those events, nor others she doesn't know about, because my problems with her were always the focus. I didn't feel a need to tell her. She is who she is and I can't change her. I just appreciate that we can get along now, though it still grates me to have to communicate with her on the phone. But she tries. She gave me a part-time job and gives me the time I need to do it, plus bonuses when we are successful at something. I can't complain.

 

[RavenGirl]

I will never tell my narcissistic asshole of Brother that I have PTSD because of his abuse. I finally called him out as an abuser in June of this year. His response was, "oh how did you ever survive growing up? !" It would just give him more power that he "messed with my head and my body". In his case, once an abuser, always an abuser. We used to still see each other at Christmas and bday parties because of nieces and nephews. I have now cut any ties to him.

 

[The Albatross]

Nope. Father died before I was diagnosed, and the ex-husband? Eh no f'ing way. My mother does though she was not exactly abusive but was complicit involuntarily and was herself being abused, worse than I was. My mother was rather neglectful.