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Childhood Have You Told Your Abuser(s) You Have Ptsd?

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My primary contact is dead. I am sure that he knows on some level that what he did caused harm. He may not have made a connection to being the cause of PTSD. He was older, and from a generation that didn't believe in PTSD or know much about it.

Everyone else... I am sure, as well, that they know on some level that what they do causes harm. Acute and irreparable. But it is cognitive dissonance. They balance future harm of a stranger against instant gratification of their own needs, their own pain, and determine that a stranger's life is less valuable to them than their own immediate needs.

That's how abuse works. I am sure they know, they just don't care.
 
Gently whispered*:shy:
Will that wish harm him?
or will it only harm you?

:)
I understand where you are coming from. But..I am permanently 'harmed', that will never change. He died of cancer in the early 1980's, after my mom divorced him. And, if he were still alive today, he would certainly die by my hands. I have carried a lifetime of anger and pain because of that twisted sob.
 
I understand where you are coming from. But..I am permanently 'harmed', that will never change....
I know that sounds rage-filled, harsh and psychotic, and it probably is. But, I have several years of my life that I have no recollection of because of him. I have spent almost 30 years of my life weight training to be stronger, studying martial arts and other fighting skills, all to protect myself from and exact revenge on a man that died decades ago. He haunts me. I was a defenseless child that he literally tortured for years, my best friend back then, a little girl who was kind to me and cared about me, was taken from my room and raped by him while she was over visiting one day. He tortured my mother, abused both of my younger brothers, who were just babies at the time. And, had actually tried to kill the youngest of my two brothers while he was still in my mother's womb. My brother doesn't know about that. This was a cruel, sadistic, perverted, and genuinely evil man. And..this man was a police officer.
 
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