Relationship He Came Back

[thewifeofbath15]

So a year ago (around December) my FWB/lover who truly meant a lot to me ran. He ran/isolated for 3 months, after a heart (AFIB) incident. I didn't hear from him until May, where he came back to me and I was too angry and didn't want to talk to him. Then he ignored me, and when I said I wanted more from him he ran again in July. We came back together in October and he said he was sorry, that he did love me and that it had scared him because we weren't supposed to fall in love. It was not supposed to happen, and in his words "the feelings are too strong, it's not normal for the feelings to be this strong."

Anyways, we are messaging now on kik, I usually initiate but he always answers and seems happy to talk. He also has been initiating conversations. He came back 100% on November 4 and said he wants to see me and I said when he finds time to please let me know. He said he wants to try being my friend again. He hasn't made any effort to see me though. I'm impatient, probably getting ahead of myself, and miss him. I haven't seen him in a year, aside from a few times in public places.

Last night I wrote him and said if he changed his mind I understand, but I would like to see him before Christmas. The whole point of seeing each other was so we could talk in person about being friends. It all feels so slow but not...it amazes me that he came back at all.

What should I do? Last night he said he has not changed his mind about any of this.

 

[EveHarrington]

He has PTSD?

 

[Deleted member 541]

@thewifeofbath15 So basically your saying that you've given up a year of your life for this guy, that you've only seen 2 times, in public?!?!?!?!?

I personally think that 2 months would have done it for me, but if you're willing to have a non relationship with someone that you never see, but now chat with, then by all means go for it.

What should you do???? RUN! Don't walk away....

 

[thewifeofbath15]

He has PTSD?

Yes he does.

 

[thewifeofbath15]

@thewifeofbath15 So basically your saying that you've given up a year of your life...

I was not waiting around for him.

 

[thewifeofbath15]

@thewifeofbath15 So basically your saying that you've given up a year of your life...

I was his friend for all of 2015. Last saw him in December of 2015.

 

[Gs172003]

You've said yourself you were a fwb/lover type relationship. You cared for him but did he care for you?

 

[thewifeofbath15]

You've said yourself you were a fwb/lover type relationship. You cared for him but did he care for you?[...

He says yes. I knew he did. But he says when he realized how much, it scared him and he ran. Those are his words.

 

[Gs172003]

He says yes. I knew he did. But he says when he realized how much, it scared him and he ran. Th...

Hmmm. Well...that can happen. You know him better than we do. If you are willing take it very very slow..very. Very. Slow

 

[aut555]

I guess what does your heart say? What does your gut say? Was it painful for him when he saw you in public? Some how l can't help but wonder if there is another female on the side because of the timing and the little interaction this year. Women are sometimes strung along in relationships and l would hate to see this happen to you. Me, yes, l would close my door, because l just don't see the enotinal connection from him despite ptsd, but l hope that something moves you to make a decision and not be a doormat.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Only you can decide how you're willing to be treated.

I would think a friend could manage to see you in person if he cared about you.

You know him and your situation, we don't.

However, if he says he cares about you, but won't see you, call, talk face to face, etc., I'd be less worried about PTSD and more worried about BS. Just 2 cents from a stranger.

Do you know for sure his story is straight? Even people with PTSD can be bullshit artists.

 

[Gs172003]

I wouldn't personally be that involved with somebody not willing to go past fwb myself.