Relationship He Didn't Waste Any Time Changing His Facebook Status To Single

[Wastinglight]

He sent me a message telling me that he was going to do it, and I told him it would be less embarrassing if he just removed his status (like I have done). But no, he wants to proclaim to the world that he's single, and cash in on all the sympathetic platitudes and messages from single women that will result.

I have now unfriended and blocked him on Facebook. I'm not doing it to be mean, but rather to to spare myself from experiencing any further pain and anguish, which would no doubt result once everyone started commenting on his Single status. I just sent him an email saying exactly that.

I feel this was very callous of him. It's also making me wonder whether he really was on the dating websites/Facebook dating apps all along. Perhaps not, but he is clearly only thinking of himself right now, and has basically gone begging the Facebook community for sympathy.

In my email, I told him it was his choice to do this, but it was very inconsiderate of him to do so. He could have waited a little while, to show at least SOME respect for what we had together - I haven't even moved out yet, for f**k's sake. I also asked him to contact me only when absolutely necessary.

He has well and truly blown his chance of ever being friends with me now. I'm done. I'm through. This was the last straw - it showed me that he doesn't care about my feelings at all.

Maybe some of you will think that harsh, and yes I'm really hurting right now. But f**k him. I'm getting off the rollercoaster and ripping up my annual pass for the theme park. F**k him.

 

[anthony]

Do you really think ex's can be friends? The only time that happens, is because one person is hoping to get back together with the other, thus they put up with all the shit and call themselves friends, hoping their deluded belief will come true.

Does it really matter that he changed his status to single, in the scheme of things? He is single now, as are you. What difference does it really make? How is him denoting being single inconsiderate? You aren't together now... what either of you do now has nothing to do with the other.

I think you're honestly being a little harsh on yourself, and even him. You've separated, that's it for the relationship. You can now both move on with life and find someone that makes you happy.

 

[nursenurse]

There is nothing that you are doing that is harsh. Make sure you mean what you say, though, that you are done. Otherwise you run the risk of everything starting all over again. You deserve so much more than what has been handed to you. There are worse things than being without a partner. The best part is reacquainting you with yourself. Realizing that you are a good travel buddy, alone, that you are worth loving. You have to love yourself first.

Someone this past weekend asked me if I ever talked to my Ex Dude (sufferer). Hell, NO! I did the on line dating thing after him, for a wee bit, and then decided that my life is fulfilling as is. It will be what you make of it, and if someone wonderful happens along for the ride, bonus, but otherwise, make your life wonderful for you right now without anyone else involved (unless you have small kids - then you make it wonderful for them too). It sounds easy, of course it is harder because emotions are involved. But move on. Maybe the relationship was never meant to be, without vilifying anyone.

 

[Wastinglight]

Do you really think ex's can be friends? The only time that happens, is because one person is hoping to get...

Thanks Anthony, and yes, you're right. But considering he broke up with me less than a week ago, and I haven't moved out of his house yet, I absolutely think it was inconsiderate of him. Where's the fire? I'm only just starting to come to terms with the breakup now. I don't think he meant to be cruel - it just illustrated to me that he is thinking of himself, and himself only.

 

[Sighs]

Blocking is absolutely necessary - you'll drive yourself mad "keeping up" with his new life on FB - especially because its so easy to make your life seem fabulous online when the reality is very different.

As far as sympathy from the single ladies goes... I can't help laughing when I see women chatting up my vet. He always makes sure to mention me as soon as possible and they (usually) back off at that point, but I can't help thinking when I see it - yep honey he DOES look damn fine but how long would you last being his partner?

 

[darrenS]

Do you really think ex's can be friends? The only time that happens, is because one person is hoping to get...

i tend to disagree with your Anthony , i left my wife over 2 years ago and we both enjoy the friendship and neither of us wants to go back - when you have kids and share the parenting , it can make a world of difference to them if it remains on a mature footing, even if there wasnt kids we would still be friends, i left simply because we had grown apart. There were no affairs or the like. In fact i think it very much depends on what happened before you broke up. Sometimes leaving simply because you have grown apart will leave room for friendship, however this would certainly change if i was being hassled to come back

 

[nursenurse]

That, Darren, is an exception even within the parenting, and be thankful for what you have. However, most new relationships will not stand for the presence of the ex, unless kids are involved. Then, some can be be friendly, but the majority is business only. And then some.

 

[Wastinglight]

Make sure you mean what you say, though, that you are done.

No fear of that. It is clear to me now that is not thinking of me at all, and certainly doesn't care for my feelings right now. It's the further thing from his mind.

From the two emails that I just received from his dad, which were not kind, it is clear that they approve of the breakup 100%. This has knocked me down even more, as I was once good friends with his dad.

I have had more panic attacks today than I think I have ever experienced in one day, and trying to cope with a busy day at work whilst trying to apply for rental properties. I am barely coping.

It sounds easy, of course it is harder because emotions are involved. But move on. Maybe the relationship was never meant to be, without vilifying anyone.

Yes, I am very emotional right now. I have had barely any time to come to terms with the breakup, and grieve for the loss of the relationship. I had no idea he was going to break up with me, I was completely blindsided. I was not prepared.

I won't agree that the relationship "wasn't meant to be", but it is clear to me that he started giving up on the relationship months ago, and my mistake was the reason he was looking for, to end it. The relationship failed because he stopped trying.

 

[nursenurse]

Doesn't that mean it was not meant to be, if someone stops trying, or they give up on the relationship "months ago"? There are many reasons why relationships fail, and they are never one sided, really. Both parties bear a responsibility in the demise, whether one just never tried, or the other chose the wrong relationship to be in. And all the reasons in between. At least you know that you gave it your all. And that you will be capable of loving again. You will have learned so much about yourself. And what will make a relationship work, for you. It just hurts. For now. For awhile. But not forever.

 

[Wastinglight]

Both parties bear a responsibility in the demise

Sorry yes, in previous threads I have owned up to the (very many) mistakes I made - and my trust issues and anxiety disorder definitely played a big part

At least you know that you gave it your all.

Yes, I absolutely did. Even though I f**ked up time and again, I was always willing to keep trying. He wasn't. End of story.

 

[Sweetpea76]

I'm sorry, but f*ck his dad in the ear for emailing you... Seriously. I'm assuming his son is a grown man, he needs to mind his business!

 

[Wastinglight]

I'm sorry, but f*ck his dad in the ear for emailing you... Seriously. I'm assuming his son is a grown...

Sorry, I wasn't very clear about that - I had to ask his dad to give me a rental reference, as he is technically my landlord. What upset me though is that he felt the need to give his opinion and say things like: "It wasn't meant to be" and "We hope you will move on quickly." I dunno, maybe he felt he was being fair, maybe was was, but it hurt and pissed me off all the same.