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Sufferer Hello Everyone!

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Hello Everyone! My name is Bryan. I currently live in the Boise, Idaho area. I am originally from North Carolina. I developed PTSD as a child. It all started when I was around 5 or 6 years old. I had an uncle that made me watch as he pleasured himself. My mother took off for a year to live with a boyfriend in another state. My father called me names and made funny of me. I grew living with my great grandparents. My mother got married and he would abuse us both physically and verbally. She left him but got married to another guy that was physically and verbally abusive. After graduating high school, I went into the military. I spent eight years in the military. I was deployed twice in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom. While in the military, I suffered from mental, verbal, and some physical abuse. Even though I experienced similar abuse in the military, it felt safer than the abuse I suffered at home.

Anyways, I looking forward to meeting others and learning from your journey.
 
I forgot to mention that I was also involved in a traumatic car accident when I was 15 years old. I had just gotten my drivers permit that day and was driving home with my mom and little brother. I lost control of the vehicle when going around a curve and went through a tree and hit a house. My mom and I were not wearing seat belts. The only one not injured was my little brother, as he was in a car seat. My mom broke her nose and I was busted up pretty bad. The emergency room doctor would not sew me and they had to call in a plastic surgeon to do it. I still do not drive. I have driven a few times since the accident, but I don't feel comfortable. I have a lot of anxiety when I am in a vehicle. My wife likes to make comments about me not driving. Saying things like your niece and nephew are able to drive before you can. It hurts a lot when she says these types of things. I feel embarrassed about not driving. For the longest time, I would just tell people that I got a DUI and lost my license because it didn't feel as shameful. I can't believe that I forgot to put this in my introduction. I was going to edit my original post but couldn't figure out how to do it.

Anyways, as I said earlier, I look forward to getting to know everyone and learning from you all.
 
Welcome! Thank you for sharing with us. Anxiety is my middle name so I relate to the shame we feel when we can't do things
A serious car accident that young is traumatic and it's not like you had support to deal with it.
Glad you have joined us on your healing journey.
Gentle hugs if you accept them.
 
WOW! That's really awful! I'm so glad you feel safe enough to share with us. You don't know us or have any idea what response you might receive, but you're taking the risk anyways. That takes a lot of courage.

I don't have a clue how many people will read this and say "been there, done that..." I can't, but I know what it is to be overwhelmed with anxiety, fear, shame, depressed... I'm sorry you have a need to join this forum, but very glad that you did.
 
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