Hello From A Victim Of Childhood Rape Needing Help.

[adjsl323]

Hey guys,

I'm not entirely sure what to say here - the title alone says the majority of it... but I'm needing some help with the entire thing, since not only has it been a repressed memory for most of my life, but I am now beginning to struggle with the challenges of living with the aftermath of it all, and it's affecting my relationship. I'm now 20 years old and in university, and I think the studying of Psychology acted as a small trigger (alongside stress, which is my main trigger of any/all flashbacks) to me uncovering the past.

I was between the ages of 6-10 when it happened, and I believe it to be a case of mistaken identity, for my uncle was charged with raping my (female) cousin several years after that - around 6 or so. I'm not going to go into the full story as it's not comfortable for me to say, but although I'm starting counselling I figured that asking people who know what it is like may be able to provide some tips.

Essentially my mood swings, irrational thoughts and sudden distance from/to my close male figures (i.e. my father until my boyfriend became a long-term relationship) has resulted in many horrible arguments and fights, and now I fear I'm about to lose my boyfriend because of it.

So, anyone? Anyone have any advice?

 

[intothelight]

Hi Lindtoholic,

Welcome to the PTSD forum. There is a lot of information on this site you may find helpful in dealing with the symptoms of PTSD. We also have a sister site [DLMURL]http://sexabuse.ptsdforum.org/[/DLMURL] that you may also find beneficial.

Counseling will definitely help and so will the support of others who are struggling with PTSD.

Wishing you peace.
Debbie

 

[adjsl323]

Thank you so much for the link, I will definitely look at it.

Also, I agree about talking/receiving support from those with PTSD themselves. There's only so much that others I know can do to help, and it's not quite the same as receiving advice from those who are fully aware of what it's like.

 

[BigBear]

Hand now I fear I'm about to lose my boyfriend because of it.

So, anyone? Anyone have any advice?

As for your BF, be as easy on him as you are capable of. But at the same time realize that being a supporter for someone with PTSD is not something that everyone can do. Give him as many chances as seem reasonable, but don't feel bad if he can't deal with it. You are who you are. You deserve support! If he can't be there for you then it's just best to move on. There are good guys out there who will be able to support you.

Glad you found us!

Bear

 

[adjsl323]

Unfortunately it's only a recent revelation that I even potentially have PTSD (although I have been told I show all the symptoms and fit the classification too), so I guess our relationship has been challenged quite a bit as a result of this - both now, when it's really coming to light, and before when neither of us knew for sure what the drill was. When he thought it was depression (as I did, and the GP) he was fantastic at supporting me. I now just hope that he can do the same to support me now with this, once he gets over the initial anger of the argument we last had, which really brought to home the idea that it's something a lot bigger than just a fight...

I'm happy to give him as many chances as possible though, however I do not wish him to feel bound to me as we are both young adults studying at university. All I want is for him to understand, support and be there for me - just like he has been, but with the additional understanding of the PTSD that I have. I really do think it's just the shock and stress of dealing with the entire situation, as I know it was completely unexpected for him.

I completely agree with you, though. Thank you.